Returning to the Path of Sesshoumaru's Eyes
by soprannaUSF
Summary: Rin and Sesshoumaru prepare for the final battle of Naraku, creating an alliance with the Inu gang. Rin is quickly growing up with skills in alchemy, first aid, and sorcery. Will Rin find the path back to Sesshoumaru's heart and the final battle in time?
1. The Reflection

Returning to the Path of Sesshoumaru's Eyes

Rin hummed quietly as she picked herbs for her lord's lastest battle wounds. Over the years, Jaken and Lord Sesshoumaru had shown her which herbs and flowers to pick for certain ailments and potions. At the age of sixteen, she had already become quite the alchemist. She also learned how to cook, hunt with a bow, some light fencing, and sung rather pleasantly. However, under her lord's care she had also become very, very smart.

After finding all the herbs she needed, she raced to the meadow's edge, where a great beast lay dying and her lord stood. "Lord Sesshoumaru!" she tentitavely called out seeking a sign from him it was safe. His hand beckoned her forward, and she raced to him. Her eyes looked him over and she quickly found a slash across his shoulder bleeding. Gingerly she ran her fingers against its length, and then motioned him to sit down. Taking her small knife, she ripped a section of the fabric of his haori away, and ran water from her flask over the wound. She met his gaze sympathetically, spying her caring reflection in his eyes before took out another flask. He hissed softly between clenched teeth as she poured sake over the wound, staring off into the horizon as she sanitized his battle wound.

"_I'm sorry", _she thought as she heard the hiss turn into a soft purr. Startled, she jolted to her side to grind the herbs and flowers into a heavy paste, and made haste to rub the cooling mixture gently on top of the gash in his skin. With her aid, his wounds would close even faster. Normally Sesshoumaru would let the wounds heal naturally, but with the increased demonic auras in air, there were no chances to be taken. "_I can't believe Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha had actually come to an agreement with other demons in Japan and Inuyasha's group was almost ready for the final battle"._

Rin sighed discontently, the worry evident on her features. It was her birthday. Each year she would be brought a new kimono to replace the previous one. They were on their way to the nearby village when they were denied access by the now slain beast. She heard the inuyokai next to her exhale, and looked up to see him studying her visage, his face showing no signs of any distinct emotions. Once again, she saw her reflection in his amber orbs, and watched as her face blushed furiously from within them.

"I didn't forget, Rin."

In his eyes, she smiled. He reached out to her kimono, and her breath hitched in her throat as his hand lingered momentarily against her side, releasing when it quickly found the secret pocket with his comb. She took the comb from his hands, and their skin brushed against the others'. She reached up, taking a lock of his silken silver strands and silently ran the comb through. She shifted around, taking each lock and combing to perfection. He growled lowly, the hum faint in her ningen ears, not unlike a distant pleasant memory. It was other memories, such as other moments similar to this one throughout the years in which she assisted him.

She reached for the next lock of hair and then was startled to see there was none left- she had finished combing her lord's hair. She breathed in the silent moment, warm air, and gentle breeze for a moment and then leaned forward. "Sesshoumaru-sama I have finished the task". She waited a long moment for his reply. It never came.

There, in a moment they both felt it- the companionship and the change within. Rin was no longer a child. She was changing into a woman. It was then when she came to terms with it. They got up, and Sesshoumaru walked briskly towards the village they were on their way to see. Jaken scrambled along as Rin was unusually silent. The blush drained from her cheek as she realized how easily readable her emotions were in her latest moment with her lord.

_I'm in love with Sesshoumaru._


	2. It Takes a Village to Raise a Child

It Takes a Village to Raise a Child.

They entered the village, and watched as the people fled in fear. "Please, wait! Where's the kimono shop? You stupid ningen beings, we only need to buy a kimono for this girl here, but running away in fear? Lord Sesshoumaru will surely slay you now for your idiocy! "

"Jaken, over there! I see it!", Rin ran ahead. Sesshoumaru watched her run off with his stoic gaze. She disappeared into the small hut and gasped when she came inside. There were so many to chose from! Her gaze was instantly drawn to the elegant pink and peach kimono with sprays of ice-pink sakura with green branches floating alongside the ribboned sunset colors. A dark green obi with a crescent moons sketched within full, bright yellow suns was draped over the shoulder of the kimono. "_This is a lady's kimono. It is beautiful." _Finally, Rin couldn't resist any longer and tried it on over her clothes. She hastily tied on the obi from the front and slid it around, and looked into the mirror.

She giggled as she saw her reflection grinning back at her. "I look like a princess! Or a bride! Or maybe even a princess bride! Or maybe even like a lady that Se-" She saw the another person enter the shop in the mirror and she turned around quickly and dropped to her knees. "Í am sorry my lord, I shouldn't have played with this kimono! I just have never had the privledge of wearing anything like it. It has such beautiful flowers on it and-"

"Rin. Pick out a more suitable kimono for _regular_ wear." His tone was final, but his mouth was almost curved in a smile, and Rin was shock. Did her lord just crack a joke with her? "Y-y-y-YES my lord, right away!" She stuttered as she grabbed a different kimono, this one pale green with bright white daisies scattered over a pattern of teal stripes underneath. She took off the regal kimono, put it back in its place, and ran off to the dressing rooms.

Sesshoumaru sighed. His little ningen-sama was growing up. Seeing her in the woman's kimono wasn't too much of a stretch anymore. And with the battle with Naraku upon them, he needed someone to manage his lands while he was gone. She was graceful, full of spirit, and young. Naraku would see her as his, and rip her to shreds in seconds. It was settled- he would make her the lady of his house while he was away..

Having decided, he tossed a hefty piece of gold down and picked up the kimono. Calliing Jaken, he ordered him to secretly place it within his satchel. Rin came out, with her new kimono picked. Together, they walked out of the store into the blinding sun.

The people ran in fear, but the old lady just watched. She sat on her mat calmly. When the demon and his human companion reappeared, the girl wore a different kimono than before. The villagers froze as the girl stepped forward. _"She remembers this village. Hopefully she won't tell this demon from whence she came from here."_

_Rin had been starving for months. She barely managed to steal enough to eat every other day. Her dress was torn and dirty, and her parents and siblings had died. She smiled when she saw the village, hoping it wouldn't be another to turn her away._

_But the village scorned the child, and forbade her from eating, working, or living there. Sadly, she turned away as the children of the village mocked her from within their parents' arms. Rin didn't have any parents to defend her. She had no protective arms to shield her from the horrible words. Later that day, she saw this great demon lord for the first time. There, she felt accepted upon her resurrection. She followed the great demon wherever he went, and on that same day, she turned her back against all villages._

The whispers rose up from the villagers, like waves crashing against Rin's painful memory of being rejected. "Who is this girl?" "How dare she take that kimono!" "I heard the demon beds her every night, it's just terrible." The whispers increased until everyone was buzzing. Rin drew in a sharp breath, and leaned back against Sesshoumaru's arm. She shook her head stubbornly, and drew her hands into tight fists.

Then, the old lady saw it- the tears. The young lady remembered this place, and how they had cast her out. Sesshoumaru smelled hurt, and stinging salt and saw his retainer's tears and balled fists. He looked up at the villagers. They had violated him enough- first with the beast guarding them, and secondly causing any member of his party further annoyance. These baka ningen were dead. He raised his hand to strike with the poision in his hands when Rin noticed the misama, and threw herself before him. "Please, Lord Sesshoumaru! They don't remember me! It's not their fault they are foolish humans like me!"

"This girl is more human than ye!" Cried out the old lady. She had enough watching this sight. "She may have found refuge in a great demon, but she is more human than any of ye, aye she is. When she was but a young child, her parents newly dead, ye turned her away! Ye cared not for life, but this child's death! Now ye hast all found it reversed and ye are granted mercy! Be ashamed."

Sesshoumaru silently relaxed his hand letting it fall and settle onto Rin's shoulder for a moment, and then walked away. Rin, still on the ground, let all the tears come out. Sesshoumaru was her protection. His arm was her solace. "_I must repay him. I have been foolish to want a human family again. Humans are fools. We all are. He has shown me much more life with less words, less noise, and less actions but within his eyes I see everything."_

She got up, and ran to catch up with Sesshoumaru. "My lord, where are we going?"

Sesshoumaru didn't even blink. "Home."

_Hey, I hope you are enjoying the story thus far. Rin has been a little out of character, but then again she's a changing girl! She is also beginning to rub off on Lord Sesshoumaru in little ways- maybe Sesshoumaru's realizing his mortality with the battle ahead? Or perhaps realizing his feeling for Rin are also changing? Will Rin be participating in the final battle as well? And who's Aikou-Akan?_


	3. Castle on a Cloud

Castle on a Cloud

"_There is a castle on a cloud; I like to go there in my sleep…"_

_Rin slept to the rocking, steady rhythm_ as Ah-Un's beating wings flew over the feudal lands of Japan. Feeling rocked into a comforting slumber, her mind's eyes opened to her dreams…

_She stood in front of a mirror, wearing the brilliant kimono she tried on just hours before. She smiled at her reflection as she brushed her long, flaxen, raven locks. The sun's last rays played out the scene of sakura blossoms in flight on her kimono, matching her moist, pink lips and blushing cheeks. The last of the sunlight surrendered to the clear and evanescent full moon. In the darkness behind her, two gold eyes appeared, and he stepped out of the shadows. _

"_Sesshoumaru-sama…."_

"_Rin."_

_The metallic crescent moons on her obi sparkled and shone, but not as much to outshine the light in Rin's eyes. Sesshoumaru came forward to wrap his arm his arm around her, pulling her closer. His nose nuzzled gently against the softest spot on the side of her neck. Rin felt her breath catch in her throat and she leaned back into his embrace. Her pulse quickened, and she leaned her head back into his shoulder. The minute his lips touched the juncture of her neck, a jolt of raw, powerful energy surged through her veins._

_The room glowed brightly, and Rin felt herself falling, falling deeper, and deeper in a trancelike state of ecstasy…_

"_Rin…"_

"_Sesshoumaru-sama…"_

"_Rin!"_

"_Sesshoumaru-"_

"RIN!"

Rin jolted awake, and realized she was free falling back to the earth. "Lord Sesshoumaru!" She almost hit the earth when she felt a strong arm grab her and pull her up. "Lord Sesshoumaru, thank you for saving me!" exclaimed Rin. He pulled her up back onto Ah-Un wordlessly as Jaken squabbled at her for falling asleep. He turned away and moved ahead of the mid-air once more.

_That was strange. Normally Sesshoumaru is silent, but in this situation he didn't say anything to me. He didn't even look at me. Is everything alright? Have I displeased my lord?_

Sesshoumaru stayed well ahead for a reason. He smelled the girl's desire, and heard her call out his name. She was falling for him. _No Rin, I can't have you get attached. Demon and ningen cannot be together without tragedy. You are foolish to look at me in such a light. However, I will still hold you in high esteem. I will keep you in comfort and near me always._

_Earlier in the day, he noticed her eyes following him as he ran through some stances to stretch his muscles. She would avert her eyes whenever he looked back in her general direction, plucking another flower from the meadow. After gathering a sizable pile, she braided the flowers and dressed Ah-Un in them for their arrival at his castle. She made a crown and braided her hair in flowers, placing one over her left ear signifying her maiden status. She then brought the last crown of white, blood red, and purples. She spent the most of the time finding just the right shades to match his markings and his hakama. It was perfect, and he would be sure to notice it._

_She took small, shy steps to him, and sat under the tree nearest him. There, she watched him while the sun traveled through the sky. When he was done, she got up and bowed in respect whilst holding out her gift. He stepped forward and eyed her slender, bowed form. After a long moment, he took the crown, and through it up in the air and struck it with his poison claw. Rin looked up with alarm as the petals floated down on them. "My Lord?"_

_He was looking down at her with his stoic expression, yet there was something in his eyes trying to say more. "Rin, you don't need to create these for me anymore. You never had to. I always feel you."_

"_Is there anything I can do to please my Lord?"_

_Sesshoumaru leaned forward when the flowers gave them momentary cover from the rest of the world. Rin leaned forward to hear him whisper his confession, and smiled. _

The castle was gleaming in the light of the moon. The moonlight shone on Rin face and she smiled with home in sight. They landed at the front gate, and Rin dismounted Ah-Un.

Rin was well received into the castle despite her humanity, and she was promptly shown to her room. It was bright and cherry, with a soft futon in the corner and a canopy of protective and soft netting from the ceiling to the floor. A servant brushed her hair and cut it into the princess-hime style, with straight bangs, and side bangs braided with ribbons weaved in. The rest of her mane was treated with a light application of beeswax which was combed through, and scented oils to protect and style her hair. A bit of rouge was applied to her cheeks, and she drained the ink of berries to color her lips with. Then there was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in, please" Rin called out calmly. Jaken entered, and looked heavily distracted. "Rin, it pleases the great Lord Sesshoumaru to leave you this strange package. He wishes you to put it to use immediately. Once ready, you will be escorted to his study."

Rin smiled when she opened the package. It contained the kimono she had dreamed about. Her first formal kimono! _So he is finally acknowledging me as a woman- thank you so much my Lord!_ The servant helped her dress and tie her obi. When Rin eyed her reflection, she barely recognized herself. _I look like a hime. _

Her thoughts continued to wander as she was brought to his study. She passed by great tapestries lining the halls that almost came to life by the light of the torches. Great beasts were battling a huge, white, Omni pent dog demon. _Is that Lord Sesshoumaru? Or is that his father, the great InuTaisho?_

Lord Sesshoumaru looked up as Rin was announced and brought into the room. The elegant kimono and her new tresses gave her a royal, ethereal glow. Lord Sesshoumaru found himself smiling before he could even stop himself.

_He's smiling at me! Oh Kami is this true; the Sesshoumaru-sama sees me in an attractive light?_

_She's beautiful. She's a lady. _

"Rin. I arrived to find a message from Inuyasha waiting. The Battle of Naraku is ready in a fortnight. I will stay here for that time, then leave to fight the battle. I will leave my estate under your guidance while I am gone. I also am instructing you to continue your studies in alchemy and spiritual powers. When I come back, you will state whether you wish to stay to manage my estate, or if you would prefer to accept a proposal from a suitable youth and leave the estate. Either way, you are no longer a child, and I wish to secure the means for the next part of your life."

Rin smiled at him serenely and quietly said, "My Lord, I have no wish to ever leave your side. If I must stay here I will accept the task with great dignity. But I know I will never wish to be married off or leave your domain."

Sesshoumaru was surprised. Since when did Rin learn how to speak so well and diplomatically? With a wave, he dismissed the remaining subjects in the room, and bade her to sit on the mat in front of him.

"Speak with me Rin."

Every night for a week, Rin and Sesshoumaru spoke after the last meal of the day. At this time she would also comb his hair, a favorite pastime they both were not ready to let go. For Rin, these were the most intimate moments she ever encountered with her lord. They would speak of politics, and Sesshoumaru felt confident leaving for the final battle with Rin in charge of his lands. Her skills had improved, and on the last night, she had promised him a demonstration of her skills.

Rin wore her simple, all white haori and hakama set that she used strictly during alchemy. She brought in her herbs and materials to his study and bowed. "Good evening, My Lord Sesshoumaru." He nodded, signaling her to be seated. He finished his kanji, and set it aside.

"I discovered another healing potion, and it can bring back what was lost much quicker. I don't know how much it can do, but I can demonstrate. Use your Toukijin, and cut off my hair."

Sesshoumaru's eyebrows went up. "Are you sure, Rin?" He watched as she lay back, fanning her hair out on the mat. Sesshoumaru looked down into her eyes, and unsheathed his sword. With a small nod from Rin, he brought his sword down in a thin, straight line through her hair.

Rin got up and looked levelly into his eyes. "There's a purpose for this Lord Sesshoumaru." She leaned over, brushing her slender arm against his strong hand. Reaching a little further she grasped the vial she had prepared. Pouring the oil from the vial into her hands, she chanted a quick prayer as she ran her hands through her hair, past where her locks now ended. Wisps of moonlight flowed through her hair, and darkened into her hair once more. Her body shimmered and her hair flowed in the wind of the spell.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, if I can master this spell, it might be possible I can have your arm return to you. This would most certainly aid you in the great battle ahead."

"You have done well, Rin. You have passed my expectations." Sesshoumaru smiled wistfully, liking the less formal way she had addressed him. He reached out to touch her hair, and to verify that it had been no illusion, and that her hair was indeed back. "Rin, from now on, please only call me by my given name when we are in private. There is no need for formalities."

Rin smiled back at him, and together they sat for several hours into the night, watching the moon travel through the sky and in silent comfort.

Later that night, a message was delivered to the Great Lord of the West. Upon opening it and scrolling through the kanji, he sighed discontently. His mate was now of age, and was expected to arrive in the morning. Her name was the crown hime of the Northern Lands, Aikou-Akan.

_AN: The next chapter will be a bit more lighthearted. You will probably get another update from me in a couple of days. However, since there are so few reviews I'm doubting on whether I should continue this story at all even thought I like writing it._


	4. The Secret Garden

The Secret Garden

Each morning since they arrived at the castle, she would enter his chamber as soon as the sun peeked through the eastern side of the mountain. It would be dark and warm, with the scent of dragons blood incense and pine still lingering in the air. Rin would quietly tiptoe to the balcony and pull aside the screens. The pale, early morning light would then gently streak into the room, high-lighting Rin in a welcoming flood of gold and pinks.

Rin turned around and moved to the panels beside his bed, and pushed the curtain aside. There lay her precious, sleeping lord. His pale locks were spread out to his side and draped over the edge of his large, wide futon. Dark red silk draped from the high ceiling, gold scenes of demon battles etched throughout the curtains. His muscular, compact limbs were tangled in sheets, the maroon reflecting onto his pale skin and accenting his dark markings. The silver of his hair, the purple slashes on his body, his dark lashes against his pale cheeks, and the pale limbs almost shone off the wine embrace of his sheets.

Each morning, this startling, intimate view took her breath away. She granted her eyes the treat for a moment longer feeling something stir within her and hold her tounge before she finally found the words to say, "Sesshoumaru-sama. It is morning. I have your breakfast for you."

Sesshoumaru would stir for a moment, purring a moment before rousing awake. He cleared his eyes with his hand, and then blinked, staring at Rin. She never knew he woke the minute her scent was detected in his room. The combination of the sakura blossoms, vanilla, and dragon's blood fusing together melded into his mind's eye as he slept. Each morning he would greet to day to see her standing there- wearing her all-white haori and hakama and her hair unkempt and down. Her tousled, rough locks shone and her dark eyes glittered in the early morning sun, the sun's piercing beams framing her in a halo of light. She was a mononoke, a ghost of his thoughts and desires.

Once Sesshoumaru had wakened, Rin would bow and turn to leave the area, disappearing behind the screen to prepare his tea. Everyday she added a small amount of the strengthening potion from her vial, a token of appreciation that he scoffed at, but no longer rejected. With a bowl of food, a small pot of matcha tea, and his chopsticks balanced on his tray, Rin would enter from behind the screen once more. "Here you are, Sesshoumaru-sama."

She leaned down to set his cup, humming the soft tune of her childhood. She bowed, and then trod back outside the screen still bearing the soft tune. She sat down on a small mat, and taking out her own comb, she groomed her own hair. When she heard no more rustling of her lord, she knew he was done and she returned to comb his hair. Parting his hair into sections, she ran a precious mixture of jasmine and frank-insence oils through his soft hair, and ran the comb through, enjoying the luxurious feel of his silken locks. Unbeknownst to her, every morning a whisper of a smile would be on her lord's lips as she did so.

"Sesshoumaru-sama? Rin has finished."

Sesshoumaru nodded. "Then this Sesshoumaru will gain your audience this evening. You are dismissed."

An hour later, Rin was trimming the rose bushes in the garden when she felt his presence. She nonchalantly continued cutting the weeds away from the precious flowers that she had grown to love over the past week. Indeed, Rin had taken it upon herself to come to this secluded garden every morning to cut all of the flowers while they were still closed, and sort them into arrangements that she placed all over the castle. She enjoyed watching them open up throughout the day with the sunlight. She also tended to an assortment of herbs, spices, and cherry blossom trees within the garden. Rin first encountered this area when walking past a solid stone wall and what was a rotted away door coated in weeds and ivy. Her instinct told her there was a hollow behind this wall- she had pried the door open and pushed aside the foliage. Now, an ivy planter had draped over a centuries-old arch and created a curtain of leaves, moss, and wild flowers sheltering Rin from the rest of the world. No one could see in, and no one could see out.

Rin felt Lord Sesshoumaru walk past, and wondered if he was possibly unaware of the garden's presence. He was such a solitary character, never speaking there than necessary, and always showing a sheer lack of emotions except in some of their most intimate conversations. He never seemed to see her during the day except as the sun was rising, unlike during the times of their travels. Only when the sun was faint in the sky was she ever within his audience anymore. She heard his walking come to a halt, yet he made no move to enter or call out her name.

Rin's thoughts momentarily trailed off to their nightly talks. What did they mean to Lord Sesshoumaru? More importantly, she thought about their most intense conversation to date- last night after her demonstration of her alchemy skills. With all that he had done to nurture and protect her, she longed to return the favor. She couldn't believe she sat within his audience, side by side every night this week. She was more than his vassal now. Even though the Lord had a long ways before admitting it, they were now companions. They often talked about politics, but a few times, Rin dared to ask the lord about simple questions. She had found out that the great lord's father was the dog demon in the tapestries, for instance. Lord Sesshoumaru even told her a bit about his father.

"_Lord Sesshoumaru, why do you hate humans?"_

_The quiet lord exhaled sharply. Breathing in deeply he stood up from his mat on the floor, and padded to the balcony. He looked out towards the full moon he tried to collect his thoughts before starting. _

"_It starts with the story of my mother. She was a beautiful, strong demoness, and very, very wise. She came from a family of great honor and to her, honor was her highest goal. When she married my father, she fell in love with him. However, he did not return the sentiment. In fact, what he did to her was unforgivable. He single-handedly destroyed my mother. _

_I was often told that while I look a great deal like my father, it is my mother I resemble the most. Honor and strength are my highest goals. She never showed any emotion, and appeared cold to all. She even hid her love from my father because she knew he was too unstable._

_The great InuNoTaishou fell in love with a ningen hime, and they secretly married and mated. Thus InuYasha was born. My mother was sick with heartbreak and went mad. She had fallen in love with my father, and rather than be disgraced by a marriage marred with ningen adultery, she threw herself out the balcony of her window to her death."_

_Rin felt this explained his hatred towards humans, but she didn't understand why he would tell her this. Of all people, Rin was struck speechless. He had never spoken so much to her all at once. His face was as emotionless as ever, yet his hand was balled into a shaking, violent fist and he drew back from the balcony sharply. "Rin, I do not need your services any longer tonight. Forgive me, but I must retire."_

_Rin looked at him with a mixture of shock and pity. She had never seen such a display from Sesshoumaru, and understood. He had never confided in this to anyone. He had not displayed his emotions, and remained cold as ice to the rest of the world because his lost his mother to them. The weight was becoming unbearable after such a long time with no one to confide in, no one to trust, and no one to live for. Yet underneath all of this, Rin still felt as if she was missing something. Something else was bothering her Lord._

_She got up and bowed reverently, "Yes Sesshoumaru-sama. Rin understands." _

A branch snapped under her lord's feet as he started to walk past her hiding spot, bringing her back from her intense thoughts. _Lord Sesshoumaru-sama must want me to know he is here. He would never give his presence away if he wished to be unknown. _"Lord Sesshoumaru, wait!" She ran out under the vines and caught his arm. "Lord Sesshoumaru, I have something to show you!" His ears twitched and his eyebrow rose at her. He stayed put, staring into the vines and not budging past the door. Rin extended her hand to him, moving his hand down to clasp her hand. She squeezed his hand lightly and smiled back at him, coaxing him in. They disappeared into the ivy and were immediately bathed in sunlight and treated to a warm breeze, shaking the fragrant sakura blossoms into the air.

Rin waited for a moment to ensure they were in private before speaking. "Sesshoumaru-sama, I have tended to this place for the past week, and will continue to do so. No one seems to notice its existence, as it was abandoned and in poor care when I found it. It is very quiet here, and very beautiful. Maybe this would be a nice place for your thoughts during the day; if you need it…I can even make myself scarce…"

"Rin, do you mean to say this Sesshoumaru is upset?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama, last night…I have never seen you like that before. I am worried…"

Rin noticed then that he wasn't paying attention. Instead, he was looking straight up at her balcony. That's when Rin noticed how far up her balcony was. Sesshoumaru stepped forward to the rose bushes, and moved them aside with his hand, the thorns cutting into his flesh. There, behind the bushes was a small upright stone. Childish kanji was etched into the stone, yet the hand looked familiar…

Here lies my mother. May Kami grant her love in the afterlife.

"No, Rin. Not everyone forgot about this place. It has been so long, but I cannot forget. This Sesshoumaru wishes not to feel the emotions, or feel at all. Yet the time has come for me to continue."

Rin looked on in wonder, her eyes widening, and her heart pitying him, "_When he was a child, he had to bury his own mother and hide the grave. What could be harder on a child than that? _She stepped quietly forward, and touched his shoulders with his hands. "Sesshoumaru-sama? Sesshoumaru…dearest-" He spun around quickly, and drew her close to his chest, ragged breaths escaping and trailing down her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. She felt a warm wetness at the collar of her kimono, and together their knees gave out. Under the falling petals and the soft moss of the garden floor, Rin lay there and held the Great Lord of the West close to her heart as he cried.

Sesshoumaru's head spun. There was a warm beating next to his ears, and a scent that he was lost in. Cherries, vanilla, and warm sunshine, and the comfort he felt from this embrace brought out a longing in him. Finally he looked up into Rin's visage and saw her tears.

_Compassionate._

_Warm._

_Lovely._

_Stirring._

_Companion._

_Mine._

Sesshoumaru looked up, and stopped when his lips were an inch from Rin's. She stayed frozen, unable to breathe as she waited for his move. Her eyes were wide with her easily readable emotions- _Oh Kami, am I about to kiss her?_ He could smell sweet, musky scents mingle with her natural scent, and it drove him wild. He was at the breaking point and there was no going back- he cupped her chin with his hand. Rin's lip quivered, and that was the last straw. He moved off of her in to a sitting up position, trying to regain a sense of control.

"Rin, forgive me."

"My Sesshoumaru dearest can never harm me."

"I am afraid I have, little ningen."

"I know your spirit, Sesshoumaru-dearest. Even if you show it to no other, or think I cannot see it. I know you."

Sesshoumaru held back on griping her too tightly as to cause harm, but his arm drew her flush to him. Whipping around, he moved Rin on top and felt her settle into his form comfortably. He inwardly wished for his other arm for the sake of holding Rin closer to him. He had never touched anyone except for the purpose of killing or harm. But this was a different feeling. He felt shaken from feeling drawn to this action. He felt Rin moan and tremble beside him. He ran his hands through her hair while she softly hummed a tune.

Together, they stayed that way, looking into each other's eyes, and then eventually staring up into the sky to watch the clouds change their shapes and the sakura blossoms kiss their bodies as they fell from their brief flight. The sun rose to the halfway point in the sky, the sunlight bathing the pair in warmth.

"Rin."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Tell me about your family. I told you about mine."

Rin smiled. "Well, my family was fairly poor. My mother was a miko that abandoned her studies to be wed to my father. We sold whatever we could from our garden- we sold herbs and ingredients to doctors for medicines, and our fruits in the market. I had to help every day. I would get my brother and sister ready and we would both go out and pick the freshest herbs. Our father would sell the herbs in the market, and my mother would stay home in case a doctor came by, and I would stay home and help take care of my brother. After the bandits killed them, I barely remember what they looked like- but I do know we loved each other very much."

"You ningens focus on love entirely too much. What about duty?"

Rin looked at him perplexed, "What do you mean? You mean to say my mother shouldn't have abandoned her priestess-hood?"

"I mean that fulfilling your duties in life should be of utmost concern, whether you care for them or not. Your Kami shall grant you rewards in the after-life, ningen."

Rin eyed him quietly, and he turned to see her face. _What on earth does he mean, my mother? Or does he mean to explain himself? _Rin wondered what he meant by that statement, but her thoughts didn't have a chance to finish. Suddenly, loud and glaringly harsh ringing pealed from the entrance of the castle, protesting the couple's quiet meditive state. They separated immediately, the intrusive noise startling the both of them. "Bells?" Rin asked, out of breath.

"Yes. They announce an arrival." Sesshoumaru looked away, his face unreadable.

"My Lord? Who has come?" Rin felt herself panic. _Why was Sesshoumaru suddenly so distant? Has this displeased him?_ Rin watched as he got up briskly and reached to tug on the leg of his hakama. "Sesshoumaru-sama, please, I beg you to answer me!"

Sesshoumaru snorted to himself. _I have been foolish. It has already started. Why is this happening to me? I can NOT give into her! I have a duty I must fulfill. I must not coddle Rin any longer. It will just hurt her. I will NOT become a self-fulfilling prophecy- my father's death will not go to waste._

"A hime. She is here to fulfill her duty. And I must go fulfill mine."

Rin watched as he pulled himself together, and then strode out of the garden. She sat there, stupefied. She sank her face and cried, not noticing the weather changing rapidly with her tears- soon she was bathed in rain. After several minutes, she realized her foolishness- her lord had a duty, that was all. And she had her duty as well. Tears over the matter was silly, as this hime may have to be his mate, but she did not have his heart.

_(AN: I am attempting longer chapters, but I would like to update frequently, my story is following a different style than the norm here on I have decided to continue with the story because I have never come across another one quite like it. I see a lot of heavy romance, and very dramatical styles that work very well with this pair, but I want to try something different. I want to tell this story from a more slightly distant point of view- like the reader not knowing what Sesshoumaru told Rin under the tree on her birthday, or everything that goes on between them as it happens. Any other words, instead we are able to see everything from an outsider's point of view, with some of the thoughts of the main characters. Everything seems fairly open now, but that is about to change._

_Please be warned, the next chapter will be very graphic, and for a more mature reading audience only. It will probably be the second-darkest chapter in this story. This next chapter will set the goals of the characters for the rest of the story. Thank you very much thus far, and please let me know what you think.)_


	5. Sins of the Father

Sins of the Father

_(An Author warning; this chapter will be especially dark, and mature. Intended for an adult audience only.)_

"JAKEN!" Sesshoumaru bellowed. That hime was here already? Either way, she would be sent to his great hall. The Lord was furious- and when Jaken appeared he made sure to hit him on the head harder than normal. Jaken cowered in fear; terrified of his lord's angry eyes- he had never seen such anger in him. Death, destruction, and battle was considered a calm surrounding for this youkai lord, what could've possibly have made him so pissed off?

"Jaken! I wished not for the bells to ring yet! Send the hime to the great hall and prepare it for the rite immediately!"

"Lord Sesshoumaru-sama! Y-y-y-y-yes Milord!" the toad scrambled off to prepare.

The angry lord stomped to his chambers where he was quickly dressed in a blood-red hakama and haori set, and a black with gold sleeveless ceremonial vested kimono. His servant tied the indigo, black, and silver obi with crescent moons and sent him on this way. Sesshoumaru wasted no time to receive his guests in the main hall. The doors were opened for him by servants, and he strode to his mat. He sat down, and then his guests were admitted.

First came in an older demon wearing his grandfatherly form, wearing the orange and red kimono of the south. After him came four men carrying a covered transport on their shoulders, his mate-to-be and bride hidden within curtains of beads and jasmine flowers. Her seductive, warm honey orbs peeked through and shone with anticipation. Her father came to a halt in front of the lord, and bowed deeply. The caravan came to a stop, with one servant running forward and falling on all fours in front of the transport with a stepping platform.

"To the Dai Youkai of the West, Inu Youkai Lord Sesshoumaru, I present to ye; my first-born daughter, the oni-hime and outaishihi of the south, Aikou-Akan! She hast come to this Great Hall for her place as mate as sworn by ye great father, the late InuNoTaishou!"

The young woman's hand extended from the curtain, and pushed it aside. Her eyes made contact with Sesshoumaru's, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Her lord-to-be was quite handsome. What struck her most was his striking, strong eyes that refused to reveal any thoughts. She let her eyes wander down his kimono, liking the striking black against his pale and luminous flesh. The combination was cutting, jutting, sharp and precise. His eyes showed strength, danger, and deadly calculating coldness. Honor, duty, and strength were written all over his kimono, his face, and his heart. She smiled at him and bowed her head- this was the moment she was born for.

This was the moment Sesshoumaru was born for. To be mated and to continue the line his father started. Sesshoumaru observed the beauty before him, calculating his duty to this hime. Her slender, lithe hand was the first thing in his sight, as it pushed the curtain separating his eyes from her visage aside. It was warm, and tanned with summers in the sun, and glistening with nervous apprehension. Her whole, slim body shook and her slim, seductive eyes glanced up at his slowly. She leaned her body forward, angling her chest towards the lord, and sliding one foot forward. Her jeweled anklets shimmered as her ankle was exposed, and slid out from her promiscuous, revealing kimono. Bringing her other leg down as well, she reached out for a servant's hand as she stepped on the small platform. She took small, saucy steps as she swayed her hips to each movement she made. When she reached within a foot of the lord, she brought her hands together and bowed deeply. "Konnichiha, Great Sesshoumaru of the West. I am here to serve you, milord."

Sesshoumaru studied her for a minute. "Let me see your face, hime."

The girl glanced up from her bow, and he gave her a glance-over. She had strong, sharp cheekbones, and catty, slim eyes. Her lips were full, and her body well-toned. Her hair was styled with long flowing hair down to her waist pinned with red crystals and flowers, and with the crown of her hair swept up and pinned allowing a cascading fountain of the jeweled locks to tremble down her back. Her eyelids were dressed with greens and golds, her lips painted a ruby red. She was dressed to look desirable and sexy to please her intended, which Sesshoumaru did not appreciate. This woman was not like a proper bride. Seeing his displeasure, she squirmed uncomfortably.

Sesshoumaru growled inwardly. He wouldn't mind the actual mating process with this one but he was obviously not the taken with the idea of her being his mate for _life._ This Sesshoumaru saw already she was weak hearted. He stood there and signaled his ward.

"Jaken." He heard the toad scramble to bring forth the ceremonial sake. Sesshoumaru took the small bowl and drank from it, then in turn offering it to his mate-to-be. Her hands trembled as she received the small bowl in her hands and sipped its contents. He watched her with an emotionless face, and nodded when she was finished. "The engagement is sealed. In three nights, the night of the quarter moon, I will come to claim my mate and continue my line. Be ready for me." Jaken took the bowl from him, and Sesshoumaru turned back around to leave the hall.

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Aikou-Akan dropped her seductive demeanor and pouted, looking off in his direction annoyed. "Father! He barely even spoke to me!" She scowled. _This is the moment I wait my entire life for, and my mate does not even give a care about it!" _she groaned inwardly. What disturbed her even more were his cold, deadly eyes and the way he looked over her like an object. She was just a duty and a promise to fulfill. Nothing more. Her father interrupted her desperate thoughts.

"Aikou-Akan-san, ye must realize that Lord Sesshoumaru does not love. He has been this way always. He is a cold, perfect killer."

The demon princess gulped uneasily, and felt a tugging at the edge of her robe. "Uh…Hime of the Western Lands…I shall show you your room" Jaken mumbled nervously. She looked down at him, and then back at her father. "Father, are you staying?"

The demon shook his head, "No Aikou-Akan. It is time you were on your own now. I have taught you everything you can use." With that, her father disappeared in a bright, red ball of light and shot out of the room.

Jaken lead her down the hallways with dark, high ceilings with great tapestries of the dog clan lining the side. Torches illuminated them, the demons in the picture almost dancing and sparring of their own accord. Finally, after a number of winding turns, they arrived at her door. Jaken bowed, and left her to enter her room herself.

A servant awaited her, and came forward to give her a bath. She never spoke a word to her, and when she was done being washed and fed, left with only a simple bow.

"_I am alone now."_ Thought Aikou-Akan. She stared out her window, and held her head in her hands. She was to be mated to a cold demon who wanted nothing to do with her.

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"Rin, please enter". Sesshoumaru looked up at her, a hint of weariness behind his eyes. Rin bowed, and entered with a tray of his night tea. Rin smiled sadly at him as he beckoned her forward. She sat the tray down for him and poured his cup first, handing it to him like a proper hostess. "There you are, Sesshoumaru-sama." For a long time, they sipped at their cups, neither knowing what to say to the other. Finally, the ice lord broke the stark silence.

"I have to mate this hime in three days. Not only do I not like her, but I have never- I have a duty. I must fulfill it."

Rin scooted a little closer and attentively wrapped an arm around him. "I understand." Her eyes were brimming with tears, so she closed them tightly and leaned her head against her lord's shoulder. Before long, she was heavily asleep from the emotional day. Sesshoumaru moved her into his lap and stroked her back, contemplating his dire situation. He breathed in her scent, felt her soft hair slip through his fingertips, and finally after a long moment of pause, reached down and kissed her on the forehead.

_My strong-hearted Rin. She may be suffering, but she is too brave to show it. _He decided he would allow this one night to hold her in his arms. He swept her over his shoulder, and gently carried her back into his room. He sat down on his mat and took her hair down from its ornaments, letting it fall in waves down her back. She appeared to be comfortable in her white hakama and haori set, so he lay her back down on the bed and brought the sheets up over her lithe, peaceful sleeping form. Slipping off all of his clothing except his hakama, he slid into the bedding next to her and brought her closer to him. For two nights he did this, his Rin left unaware because shortly before sunrise, he would carry her tenderly back to her sleeping mat.

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In her sleep, she felt herself drifting. Flower petals flew in the air, creating a curtain of safety and a mask from the harsh world. She was stroked gently, soft caresses soothing away all of the torment her world suffered. _Yet there was no pain, no fear. "I am safe, warm, and secure. My Lord is here and that is all I need. I am loved here. No matter how bad things may become, I will always remember what he said to me." _The rocking slowly stopped, and she stirred as she was roused from her sleep. She smelled frankincense looming in the air, arousing her senses. Warm flesh pressed against her curled fists, and soft breathing tickled her face. _My Lord…is that you? Should I wake, only to find this another dream…no…I want to stay asleep in this dream for as long as possible!"_

Rin's hands uncurled, and lay flat against the warm, beating chest. A fire hummed deep within her, and finally curiosity got to the best of her. She peeked open an eye and saw her Lord there, sleeping peacefully. She brought up her hand and cautiously traced his demonic markings on his sharp cheeks, and on his forehead. Her eyes were now wide and bright with wonder as the light from the moon streaked onto the bed. "This is not a dream…" her breath was stuck in her throat. "…Sesshoumaru how I long to tell you…"

She leaned further forward and kissed the top stripe on his left cheek softly. Then she settled back into her waking position and watched the Great Dog Demon of the West sleep until the early hours of morning.

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Aikou-Akan slammed her fist into the wall from frustration. There were no plans, activities, or celebrations in honor of her arrival? Not even one single meeting with her lord? Nothing, no contact, no gifts, nothing like what she was told would happen to signify her arrival had happened. Now this sun was setting for the third time since her arrival. Her lord had no choice- in order to have the strongest pup they had to conceive tonight, the night of the waxing quarter moon.

She sighed thinking of her lord, crossing her arms in front of her chest angrily. Something about his standoff-ish behavior intrigued her. She wanted to know more, but she was beginning to realize she was not meant to. Sesshoumaru did not strike her as the kind to make an exception if he did not mean to.

Upon getting dressed and her hair styled for the day, a message arrived from her Lord requesting her presence. She smiled and notified her chambermaid to hurry her work. Aikou-Akan soon found herself running through the halls until she came to a guard, and was promptly taken through a dizzying maze of halls, corridors, and secret passageways until they entered a dark, dusty room. It was lit with three mounted sconces, and all of the walls were lined with scrolls and various texts. Any free space on the walls was lined with tapestries of the Dog Demon clan, and there was a balcony with the curtain open. The bare wood floor had two mats, and a small low-lying table. On the table, there was a small bundle of wildflowers lying to the side of their mating contract, which Sesshoumaru had in front of him.

A strange woman came in wearing a white hakama and haori set with a tray of tea. She reached down onto the table and with a snap of her fingers, lit the incense into a slowly smoking plume. She bowed and addressed her lord. "Lord Sesshoumaru, here lies your evening tea." She back away and stood back, awaiting his command.

Aikou-Akan wondered who this girl was. This couldn't be an ordinary servant girl if she was allowed in her future mate's study at this evening hour. Soon her question was answered. "My mate-to-be, I request that you make this Rin-chan's acquaintance. Rin shall keep the castle in order for you while I am away. I leave tomorrow morning for a battle. Should I be prevented from returning promptly, I urge you as my mate to raise our child conceived tonight properly until I am back from my journey."

He signed the parchment, picked up the incense and its holder, and rose from his mat. "Take this incense, and prepare yourself in your chambers. I shall meet you there when it has burnt out. You are dismissed."

Aikou-Akan bowed and left the room briskly. This whole ordeal was cold, and not at all what she expected it to be. There was no romance in this. Oh well. She wouldn't mind the actual consummation.

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The air hung thick and heavy with silence that a knife could cut through. The only thing both of them could here was Rin's pounding heartbeat. "Rin."

"Sesshoumaru?"

"What is on your mind?"

"I have something for you, my lord"

"I have something for you too, Rin-chan."

Rin's chest trembled as her brought her shaking hand up to the front tie for her hakama, pulling the small sash and watching it slide down her legs onto the floor. Next, she brought both of her hands to her shoulders to part the haori and kept her eyes on his as it slid off her shoulders. Sesshoumaru gasped as he realized what she was doing. His reaction startled her, but she did not want to cry, for her lord would think her weak. His eyes remained on hers, not moving once to view her nude form. One would think by first glance that the lord did not even notice the change, yet his clenched fist shook ever so slightly.

"Sesshoumaru, I know you have too much honor to have a ningen like me. -Or to have anyone other than your mate. But you are allowed to look, right? Just this once?" Unable to stop himself, his eyes trailed her soft, lithe body…her small yet youthful bosom, long waist, curvy hips and long, endless legs. He saw her bright eyes, heard her heart's racing, and smelled her arousal. He saw all of this, but he also saw her pain, and closed his eyes with bitterness.

"Rin-chan, I will not have you as a whore. You do not deserve such a degrading title. Instead, I have other things in mind for you. I have one item left of my mothers. I give it to you."

Rin gasped, bewildered, watched as he reached into his kimono and drew out a necklace made of sparkling beads of jade with a large oval pendant. The pendant itself shimmered from within, and looked similar to a combination of aquamarine and opal. "Whenever you need me, throw it into the sky, and I shall come. It will return to you when I am on my way." He reached out to her and cautiously brought the necklace on over her head. Her entire nude body glowed, and a warm breeze flew into from the window. "Are you sure? Shouldn't your mate receive such a gift?"

Sesshoumaru scoffed, "Aikou-Akan is a demon, Rin. If Naraku attacks anyone it would be you, since you are weaker than her, and he knows you travel with me." Sesshoumaru sniffed the air, noticed the fragmented air was weakening. It was time. "Rin-chan, I must leave."

Rin feel onto her knees before him and felt the tears betray her. They slipped down her cheeks and onto the floor. "Sess…hou….maru!" She brought her shaking hand forward and clutched his white hakama and kissed the fabric. "Sesshoumaru, you asked me whether I would eventually choose to marry or stay here. I choose to marry."

Sesshoumaru looked down at her with an eyebrow raised. "Rin, explain?"

"I choose to marry. Not to marry a human, but dedicate myself to serving you all of my life. This Rin gives you her life into your hands."

Sesshoumaru cursed under his breath. He could not coddle her any longer. He simply could not. This was too much, and what must be done, must be done before this went any further. He simply replied, "Rin, I must take my leave."

Rin heard his footsteps get lighter and lighter as he walked away, and the door whisper shut. The gates flooded, and her tears came crashing into the floor where and sat, still nude and illuminated by the weak light of the quarter moon.

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It was animalistic, and not loving. There was scratching, hissing, biting and slashing. Their efforts were demonic, almost sadistic. They made a slapping sound each time they pounded together, their skin was slick with warmth. They grunted, and moaned at each wave of heat. She was on all fours with her bottom high in the air, and he shoved into her from behind, his arm gripping her left hipbone. After several moments, Sesshoumaru's eyes glowed red with tension and he shoved in one last time, howling loudly of his release. The woman shivered at the delicious sound and followed with a shriek of pleasure.

The knot wound down, and they both came to a stop. Sesshoumaru drew back, his eyes returning to their normal color. "We are now mated. I expect you to fulfill your duty as I have described to you, as I intend to do mine." With that, he left the room. The walk from his new mate's chamber's to his quarter was long and heavy.

The path smelled of the many tears.

_Yup, a fresh installment. After a long time, too. It's been a very rough couple of months for me. There were two different directions I could've gone with this story, and I have finally decided. So now that I know which way to go, this story is now back. Let me explain what I have decided. _

_Eight months ago today, I was the victim of a violent attack. The path to recovery has been long and tedious, and I still have a ways to go. But one of the most disturbing things is the amount of times even girls I KNOW have been a victim of this person. None of them spoke up, wrote a witness statement, police report, or pressed charges. I am the only one._

_Henceforth, this fiction is dedicated to the many women who had the courage to stand up to their worst nightmares to matter how difficult it may be. _


	6. Pleasures and Pangs

Pleasures and Pangs

The air was warm and silent. She stood there, quietly awaiting his word. He lay on his bed, admiring his ward one last time. Finally, she shifted from one foot to the other and spoke.

"Sesshoumaru-sama? It is morning."

"Rin, it is unlike you to be late."

"I am sorry, Sesshoumaru."

"Rin. Sit beside me."

Rin quietly trodded over with his tea tray and poured a cup for him. She handed it to him, bowing low. He took the cup from her hands and sipped it. Rin sat down next to him, leaning into his arm slightly while simply Sesshoumaru stared ahead.

"Sesshoumaru, is this goodbye? When do you expect to return?"

"The path I take is the way of the Supreme Conquest. I must journey to the netherworld and collect the sword of my father, Sounga. I will most likely die if Tenseiga melts during my time there. I seek to perfect Inu no Taisho's technique and become greater than he was. After that I shall resume my hunt for the vile Naraku. "

Rin pinched her lips together tersely before speaking. "Sesshoumaru, I should warn you. While your arm is still in the Netherworld, it will most likely be of no use to you. Its last energies have moved on away from the world of the living. But I will continue to search for a way to return your arm so you may regain some of your lost strength."

"This Sesshoumaru do not need aid from a ningen. I will rely on my own strengths to overcome any obstacles I come across."

The both finished their tea in silence. Rin got up and picked up the tray, returning it to its proper place front behind the screen and onto the table on the other side. There she mixed the jasmine perfume, frankincense oil and water together. Suddenly, she froze, tears dropping down from her long, dark lashes. Her reflection rippled in the bowl as the drop impacted her image. _Oh Sesshoumaru-sama…is there really no room in this life for us? Am I just a ningen to you? _Her mind went back to that warm morning they shared in the garden, while it was only just days ago, it felt like another lifetime.

"_You ningen focus on love entirely too much. What about duty?"_

_Rin looked at him perplexed, "What do you mean? You mean to say my mother shouldn't have abandoned her priestess-hood?"_

"_I mean that fulfilling your duties in life should be of utmost concern, whether you care for them or not. Your Kami shall grant you rewards in the after-life, ningen."_

The tears came to a stop, and Rin drew in a long breath. _Perhaps the next life I will be rewarded for the struggles in this one. Sesshoumaru is right- to be placing our faith in Kami to make everything alright._ Her sniffles ceased, and she continued mixing the bowl's contents, the picked up the comb with her other hand. Bringing the bowl, she bowed again and moved to seat herself behind Sesshoumaru. She sat the bowl down and poured a few drops inside her palm, rubbing her hands together and running her fingers through his locks. Suddenly, she felt a strong, warm hand clasp her right wrist.

"Do not cry, Rin. We are still connected. What did I tell you?"

Rin shifted uncomfortably, and murmured, "Sesshoumaru, do you mean what you told me the day I turned sixteen?"

"Precisely."

"But I thought you have changed your mind. You have taken a mate."

Sesshoumaru scowled inwardly, and ran the side of his index finger under her wrist back and forth. "My honor and duty disguises my true thoughts and emotions. Just because I take a mate does not mean I lied to you that day."

Rin shuddered, his growl was intoxicating. His hand was still around her wrist, no doubt he cold feel her pulse racing. The small movement ticked at her sensitive flesh. She tried to think through the pleasure that was racing through her body. She might never get a chance to ask him. "Sesshoumaru, with great respect towards you, I feel that you deny me because you are scared. I-I think you- are scared of becoming someone. "

She felt herself be whipped around and her back land onto the mat, startled to see her lord's amber, angry eyes above her. He grit his teeth together and growled out savagely, "Answer, NIGNEN, you are on DANGEROUS ground!" Rin yelped, and tried to squirm away but she was pinned down with his powerful legs at her hips. It was then she realized that her lord was still _very_ naked. Rin knew she had to answer, until then her lord would be very angry. She drew in a deep breath.

"Sesshoumaru! Are you trapped by this 'honor' and 'duty'? Why don't you just _live?_ -Or are you scared of becoming _your father-" _

Rin was cut off from any more. At first she though she had died, hearing a roar and the wind rustling throughout the room, then she realized Sesshoumaru's lips were on hers. At first she was too terrified to move, and then her body licked with fire as she brought her trembling hands up to his bare, muscular shoulders. Trails of tears slid down her cheeks and onto the floor. His lips melded into hers roughly as their bodies pressed against each others' passionately. His hips ground into hers as she responded hungrily by running her fingernails down his back. Rin's head swirled dizzily as she thought with wonder,

"_Sesshoumaru is kissing me"._

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Aikou-Akan was bored. She wanted to do something, anything. She finally decided to go take a ride through the skies. However, she didn't even feel like making the effort to become airborne. _Perhaps Lord Sesshoumaru has something I can ride._

This morning she had felt ill when she woke up, and some fresh air was desperately wanted. The tea she drank did little to settle her stomach. She summoned a servant who she bade to dress her and then she was guided to the stables. Aikou-Akan tried to commit the path to memory, but the grounds were extensive. When they reached the opening in which the small pasture and stables were, Aikou-Akan stopped abruptly.

"You may take your leave." The servant bowed and scurried off. Aikou-Akan's eyes searched for any other signs of life. She spotted a simple two headed dragon, and she narrowed her eyes at it. _It looks innocent enough._ She straightened her posture, cleared her throat, and in a commanding voice, addressed the creature.

"You, take me to the skies."

The creature yawned, and followed that with a snort.

"How dare you! Your insolence will not go ignored! I command you to take me into flight, BAKA!"

The dragon shifted, turned around, and sat down facing opposite her, its' behind twitching.

"How DARE you ignore ME, the new Lady of the West! The Great Lord Sesshoumaru's MATE! To defy me is to commit treason, which is no less a treason against your master! I should skin you alive fo-", Aikou-Akan stopped, hearing a hearty laughter. Her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, and she turned to find her audience.

There was a handsome, well-tanned man with long black hair, and an orange and red hakama and no shirt. He wore a black sleeveless kimono vest with a simple yellow braided obi wrapped around his waist. The hakama was short and ended at his knees, exposing his muscular legs, and his vest showed off his sculpted chest. His eyes were a brilliant and striking red with black pupils, his jaw masculine and square. His long black hair hung down his back, with the tips of his locks turning into a shocking red.

"_Well, hello handsome", _she thought as she eyes him up and down. Shaking her head slightly, she snapped out of her daze and sauntered over to him. "So what do you find so funny?" She didn't understand why, but something about this man tugged at her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to be rude. My name is Damasu, stable master of these grounds. My family is originally from the south. It is…." his eyes roved up and down her form, and Aikou-Akan could feel him undressing her with his eyes. "-a pleasure to meet you. How may I help you?" He knelt down on one knee, extended his hand forward to grasp hers, and kissed it lightly.

She blushed furiously. _So we have another airborne from my lands? "_Well, I am ill and wish to take to the skies for some fresh air. Yet this impudent dragon has disobeyed my orders!" She felt a sharp tug and in one moment, she was sitting on his knee, his face inches from hers and his strong arms wrapped around hers.

"My lady, I apologized for being rude, but you have yet to tell me your name. This offence shall not go unpunished…say, what shall you offer as a peace offering? Hrm?" His eyes focused on her chest, one hand moving up to stroke her shoulder and slowly moving down. His eyes moved up to meet hers and he grinned.

Aikou-Akan felt cemented into place, his eyes holding her into a deep trance. Even when he brought the back of his hand lightly over her left breast, she felt unable to move from the spot. She felt her lips betray her as a moan escaped from them. Her body shuddered in pleasure as he kneaded the soft mound, his thumb gently flicking over the nipple through her kimono. His other arm supported her back as he brought her forward to press her to his body.

_Can you feel it? We are both dragons. You can deny it now, but it won't last for long. You are mine. Besides, our lord would rather have you gone and off his hands, anyways…_

The trance broke, and she glared at him. "How dare you attempt to read my thoughts!" She shoved him away, and he snickered. "I command you to stay away from me!" She stormed out of the stable and back into the castle, his laughter following her ears wherever she went.

"You can run if you want, you pretty little red-head! But sooner or later I want to find out if the carpet matches the drapes!"

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Sesshoumaru jerked upright. "YOU see now? I am not afraid to do what I want! -But I will NOT become my father! But I have dishonored my mate enough, locking lips with a mere ningen baka." His voice was bitter, and harsh.

Rin couldn't believe her ears. She just experienced her first kiss, and from the man she loved no less! Was everything that she had done shameful to him? She stood up at him, strode over and slapped him. "I am –NOT- just another ningen! How dare you remind me of that every chance you get! I ran into danger years ago to save Tenseiga for you, not because you needed it for strength, but because it was a keepsake from your father! Don't you remember that? I will prove to you one day that I am different! Just you see! Then you'll be sorry for calling me that! You _raised me and protected me_, why? Why, if I mean nothing to you?

Sesshoumaru's mouth gaped open. His Rin had actually slapped him? Intolerable, after everything he had done for her. She was clothed, protected, fed. He showed her emotion he showed none other. He watched as Rin searched his face for any sign of emotion, and as she bitterly spat, "Just go and fight, I hope you never come back!" She cried, her voice high with tension and cracking. Sesshoumaru gripped her arms tightly, trying to shove her away.

"**_I wish I could hate you, Sesshoumaru!" _**Sesshoumaru froze upon hearing her words. He released her, and turned away.

"I wish you could, too. That would be for the best". Sesshoumaru said with his voice clear of emotion. He brought the scabbards of his swords up, and hooked them onto his obi. _Why did I do that? Is my father living here, or am I? Curses to you, father. I refuse to become you. _

Sesshoumaru strode over to the balcony without pomp or ceremony, opened the doors, and rose off the ground. He turned his face slightly to address his ward.

"Rin, I know not if I shall return. But if I do, I expect you to still be here."

Rin felt too proud. She knew she should've told him she loved him, but she chickened out, and then her hurt pride held her back. Part of her wanted to call out, run to the window and scream it into the skies hoping he would hear. But she didn't. She stayed there on the floor, bitter, angry, and hurt.

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_It had been many months since Sesshoumaru had left. Each night, the castle's inhabitants slept restlessly. The moon hid her face behind the clouds for the path its master had chosen to take. Life was hell. _

Aikou-Akan sipped the sake furiously, like every night for the past seven months. She had attempted again to fly, but found herself incapable of it. Her wings would not be summoned. _All because of this stupid child I must bear._ Her body would not allow her to harm the child by the dangers of flight. _Then I should at least be allowed to have some other fun. _Her mind went back to that other dragon demon in the stables. He was very handsome, but she refused to call on him. His name didn't sit right with her, and she didn't like how easily she fell under his influence. He seemed to know too much.

She thought of master's servant girl, Rin. She seemed to strike the wrong chord in her, for a ningen she also seemed to see right through her. Aikou-Akan didn't like anyone who thought they knew her at a first glance. It gave her mild amusement to bring up her lord's name in her presence, and watch the girl stiffen. However, the girl herself didn't give her any discomfort either way or another.

Indeed, it seemed nothing was entertaining or pleasing about this castle. So instead she spent most of her time learning the inside of it, or drinking within her quarters. Many times, she left her room with a half-empty bottle of sake, and her kimono in disarray. Her hair was tousled and barely staying up, most of her locks in her face or shimmering down her back. A few times, she ran into Damasu, having a passionate encounter in hallways, secret chambers, or outside. They always ended with Aikou-Akan running away before it went too far, angry with his confident demeanor.

"_You know you want this…you can feel it, hrm?" He sauntered over you her, his eyes penetrating hers. She found herself unable to move as his hand reached out for her hair. "My, don't we look a little intoxicating today….or intoxicated? Hrm?" He brought his hand down her neck, lightly over her breasts, and around her waist. He pulled her against him and pressed her against the wall, rubbing his erection through their clothing. She moaned in pleasure and she rubbed her body against his, hating the clothing in between them. Something down the hall shuffled, and they broke apart._

"_A-hem", coughed Rin, staring at the couple with wide eyes. Aikou-Akan hated those eyes that knew everything. Insolent girl. So she slapped Damasu, cursed him her putting her under a trance, and scurried off._

Aikou-Akan groaned. The girl was alright enough, but those eyes. They bothered her. She got up from her seat, and felt her abdomen wince. She drew in a sharp breath before the screams emitted from her throat. She gripped the sake jar so hard; it shattered all over the room. Her legs gave away, and her body came crashing to the floor. Blood trickled from her cut hands, and from in between her legs.

The last thing she remembered was the sound of her screams fading.

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"What should we do with the child?"

"I do not know. This is a heavy burden to bear."

"I agree, Lord Sesshoumaru will be most upset."

"Let us call on Rin. She will manage this."

The room was spinning when Aikou-Akan opened her eyes. _Oh Kami not another blasted hangover. I really should start to lay off the sake._

"She's awake." She heard footsteps as two servants rushed to the bed. "My lady, how do you feel?" Two blurry faces hung above her.

"I feel like hell. What was in that sake?"

The two faces turned to each other, and nodded. "My lady, you went into labor last night. The child was born dead."

Aikou-Akan shot into a sitting up position. "_What? Was I poisoned?"_

The two servants jumped back from fear. "No my lady…it is believed you drank too much. It killed the child."

She narrowed her eyes. "Sake can do that? Why didn't anyone tell me sake would kill it? My lord will _have my head!_" Her mind scrambled to find a solution. "Unless….he never finds out. You two will never speak of this. Dispose of the child's body and claim a child has been borne, but until it has been weaned refrain from its gender. If you dare tell anyone otherwise, I will not hesitate to kill you."

The two servants gulped, and looked at each other. The tallest spoke up. "My Lady…you are asking us to commit to treason."

She scowled, and spoke as it was a simple choice. "Treason or death. Pick now."

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Rin sighed, and gave up. The garden had started withering ever since Sesshoumaru left. Nothing she attempted to do would correct this misfourtune. She shook her head, and grasped the vial within her hands, chanting her bidding over and over again. Before her lay a crow, half dead with a wing shorn off. Rin awoke this morning to find the poor creature on her floor by the balcony.

She completed her chant, and opened the small vial to pour the mixture she prepared onto the stump where the crow's wing had once been. A new wing sprouted in its place, healthy and vibrant with shining indigo feathers. Rin smiled, and then watched as the animal suddenly died. She nodded sadly. _Too little, too late. At least I tried. I'm getting better._

She heard footsteps resonate nearby, and got up to see who was approaching. She jumped back when she felt a hand hit the other side of the wall looking for an opening.

_I have to hide- no one is supposed to know about this place, or my studies except Sesshoumaru. _She stumbled back, picking up her tray of vials and hiding them behind the rose bushes. She picked up a clear vial with seemingly nothing in it, and dosed herself in the fluid. _This should render me invisible for a couple of minutes. I guess what better time than now to test it…_

"Here! I found it! The old abandoned garden. See how all the half-dead plants? No one even knows about this place." The servant rushed in with her sister, who was carrying a small bundle. They moved to the middle of the garden, and then stopped. "Well? Should we bury it?"

The sister scoffed. "What's the point? If the child is buried the scent will stay longer. Just set it down and let's leave it. Besides, if we get caught, Aikou-Akan will kill us."

They nodded, and gently brought the child down. The first servant shook her head. "It's a shame. He looks so much like him."

They turned to each other, and strode out of the garden. Rin waited until she knew they were gone, and then ran to the bundle. "Oh Kami- it's his _child! The Child is dead._" She brought a hand to her face, her tears landing on the infants' blanket. She brought her other hand towards the small blanket, lifting the corner and exposing the child. There were two stripes on each cheek, and a crescent moon on its forehead. In the middle of the crescent was a small flame. On its face was a peaceful expression.

"_Lord Sesshoumaru's child is dead." _She brought the child into her arms and cried for its' father. _"How dare that woman take everything away from me, AND kill his child! This is too much!" _There were great pangs in her heart for not only everything Sesshoumaru, and herself and lost, but for this child as well.

Rin had never felt so cold.

_AN: yes, another dark chapter, but also a HUGE moment for Rin- her first kiss. And she must be getting a backbone if she's talking to Sesshoumaru like that. In the next chapter you'll be seeing a BIG moment for Sesshoumaru, including some spoilers if you haven't read or heard about the latest manga chapter. But my fiction doesn't completely meet up with the manga on some points. So for the sake of not ruining any surprises, I'll try not to make it clear what in happening to Sesshoumaru and Rin in the manga way up ahead._

_Please let me know what you think. The next chapter won't be as angsty as this one, but the darkest chapter in this fiction will be chapter 9 or 10. After that we're pretty much at the halfway point of this fiction._


	7. The Two Messengers

Two boot-clad feet walked calmly onto the cracking, blistering earth. Sizzling was followed by the stench of burning flesh, then was followed by a burst of cool air. The sound of harsh metal sliding against smooth steel could be heard as the great being brought out his sword. The air pulsated and pressed against him, painfully reminding him of the torturous amount of heat he was about to endure. Drawing in a sharp, painful breath, he felt his lungs bursting from the toxic air. He shook his head, annoyed with himself for showing his pain. He looked up with a heavy resolve, his amber eyes fierce and angry. A booming, angry voice called out to him;

"Who dares approach the entryway to the afterlife? Leave, before we take you under!"

"I have come for my father's sword, Souunga. And I shall have it. Take my life, so I may enter."

The chuckling resonated, shaking the walls and sending an avalanche of gritty bolders down to greet him. He kept a careful grip on Tenseiga as he paced surely towards the entrance of his destination, his fierce eyes steeling towards his fate.

Today, he would die in the crater of Mount Fuji.

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Rin sobbed as she held the young infant in her arms. The skies mourned with a light, cold drizzle that smacked against the cold earth. Shivering, she placed her head above the child and pressed it closer to her.

With one hand holding the child close, she used the other to reach behind her hair, slid her fingers under the chain and pulled her necklace off over her head. Holding the pendant in her hand, she examined it for a moment. It appeared to be made of a mineral similar to adamant, like a crystal. Inside, it glowed a dull purple, illuminating the crystal's crescent moon shape. With a shuddering breath admist her tears, her hand closed around the pendant and she threw it high into the air. She held the child close and watched as the sun traveling from one side of the sky to the other. Clouds passed, the wind whipped her sleeves about, and her eyes drooped. The last thing she remembered was her back falling onto the hard, frozen ground.

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Aikou-Akan fluttered her eyes open. She had survived, but not for long. When her lord found out about her misdeed she would certainly be killed. She must rest, and leave as soon as possible with her lover. As great as her lord's ability was to sniff out where she had family there, she would at least be protected in the south. With a settled determination and confidence in her plan, she lay back in her sheets and welcomed the black soothing comfort of sleep.

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_She tugged at her short kimono, and followed her lord as they walked by the ocean. The pale pink dawn met the crashing waves of the sea, with white mist spraying lightly on her face. She tiptoed behind her lord alongside the sea, the jagged cliffs enticing her to step off and join the sparkling seafoam below. Suddenly, it dawned on her._

"_I've been here before. This is the coast where Horai Island was."_

_She watched as the wind blew her lord's hair aside, revealing four marks. They glowed angrily with magicks- reminding Rin of an exposed hornet's nest. Slowly, she watched as the marks turned to one. It was in the shape of the pendant she had thrown…_

"_Sesshoumaru-sama…are you alright?" She quickened her pace to catch up with him. Suddenly she realized that her legs were shorter, her hair was pulled to the side, and she wore an orange and yellow checkered kimono. Was she a child again? Was this a dream?_

"_You're not Sesshoumaru-sama! Who are you? And where am I?"_

_The man turned around. He wore the appearance of her lord, but the posture and fresh emotion on his face was not the demon she knew. "I am a being of the heavens. You have sent for Lord Sesshoumaru, but I have come to tell you that he has moved onto the realm of the dead."_

_Rin shook with anger. "Why should I believe you? You have already attempted to deceive me." She folded her arms across her chest and stopped in her tracks._

_The being held out his closed hand to her. "Because you would've not let me send this message had I come in my true form. But I have something that should be returned to you, as you will have better use for it than I." His hand opened, the palm facing upwards to reveal the pendant she had thrown into the heavens. _

_Rin gasped in shock. Was this a dream?- Or a vision? She had no idea. Her shaking hand reached forward to lightly touch the crystal. Drawing in a deep breath, she grasped it. Light flooded her vision and she only heard one more thing._

"_Rin trust your instincts. They will always guide you. It is your destiny."_

_It was her lord's voice._

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Rin walked through the corridor with no expression to be seen on her face. She felt numb to the core. Yet as she walked the halls, no one noticed her filthy hand, scraped knees, or torn clothing. It was as if the unknown loss of her lord's son had silenced the normally vibrant and bustling castle. She mourned the child, failed in summoning her lord, and buried the child alone next to her lord's mother. Yet even with all of this, she still refused to believe this world had lost him. _"Sesshoumaru-sama". _

She walked past the gossipers, the servant, Jaken, and the stable master who was whispering with a younger servant girl. Her eyes gave him a glare of steel that shook him momentarily, yet after a moment he continued his flirting. Rin shrugged carelessly. "_Karma is already in place for Sesshoumaru's cheating wife". _

She opened the door to her room and slid it shut. She rang the bell for a bath to be drawn and slid off her dirty clothes, changing into a simple white wool kimono and warm tabi. Tying the knot of her belt, she impatiently waited for the bath that would no doubt take a while to draw. Her eyes gazed at the door adjoining Sesshoumaru's. Fresh tears brimmed as she quietly and hesistantly closed in on the distance between her and the forbidden door. She raised two of her right fingers, breathed in a deep breath, and slid the door aside.

It was bright, and full of light from the windows that were open. The pale wood gleamed gold and the screens hiding his tatami mat and futon from view shone with an ethereal glow. This room always seemed so expansive, warm, and inviting, yet never spoke of its owner to her.

Rin turned around the screen to glance at the bed. There lay an unexpected sight. In her white and maroon robes lay the wind sorceress that Rin hadn't seen in almost ten years.

"Kagura? What are you doing here?"

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"_Kagura…I know you're there."_

_She stepped out into the small clearing in the flowering meadow. Sunbeams shone down through the clouds. "I see your nose is good as ever, Sesshoumaru", she mused inwardly. She noticed the slight annoyance in his eyes when she greeted him so informally. She crawled forward to his figure, and her eyes betrayed her. Her torment, her pain, and her love was clearer, and sharper than the brightest of diamonds. She fell onto her knees, leaning towards his feet, reaching up with one hand to clear her hair up from the back of her neck. Her eyes revealed her true words._

"_Naraku has returned to me my heart. Yet it is slowly dying. I have never known such pain- please, end it. It would be an honor to die by your hand alone. Let me find peace."_

_Sesshoumaru obliged. "I will end your pain- for a price. If I die, you will return to life and send a message for me." He crouched down on even ground with her, looking straight into her eyes. "You are resolved to die, I see."_

_Kagura nodded. "I have accepted my fate and am ready for the afterlife."_

_Sesshoumaru stared her down to make sure she was certain, then unsheathed his Tokijin. Grasping the blade by the hilt, he rest the tip in front of her heart. He watched as her face changed into panic as she realized what he meant._

"_Fulfill your last wish, Kagura."_

_Her hands shook as she brought them to his strong, muscular shoulders, and braced herself for what was to come. Drawing in a deep breath, she shoved herself forward. White heat consumed her chest, and she saw stars. When her lips touched his, she smiled. Her weak heart failed her, and she felt her lips go numb. With her stiff fingers and last energy, she wrote in the wind:_

愛私は愛した

(I Loved You.)

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"So you are here to deliver me a message?" Rin asked incredulously. "So he must truly be dead?" She still couldn't believe it. All the evidence that her lord was stacked against her- he was most certainly dead- yet her heart refused to accept it. She stared down at the wind sorceress.

"Sesshoumaru wanted me to pass on these. He saw wind in you- You are constantly changing, shifting, free and cannot be contained. Trust your instincts, for they will set the path for not only yourself, but countless others."

Her visage started to fade, and she removed her fans from her obi. She gave the objects in her hand one last longing glance, she placed them on the bed. "Rin, I pass on my powers to you. May they serve you well." With that, she was gone.

Rin stared her a moment after she had disappeared, lost in thought. _"Twice today_ _I have been told to trust my instincts. Well, my instincts tell me Sesshoumaru cannot be dead! He can't be!"_

She looked down at the bed before picking up Kagura's fans. Their unexpected heavy weight threw her off, and she lost her balance. She landed on the bed, sharply inhaling the remnants her lord's scents. At that moment, her heart lurched and she felt very alone in the world. She heard a distant knock in the next room, and she jumped up and skipped to the door. Looking over at the fans, she decided to leave them there for the time being while she took her bath.


	8. Tipping the Scales

Tipping the Scales

She was smiling at him. Her long, white hair and regal composure affirmed in his mind who this was. Her liquid, stately voice commanded over the depths of the hellish atmosphere. "Hello son. It is good to see you again. How much you look like your father."

Sesshoumaru glared daggers at the great former Demoness of the West. Inwardly, he bit off the urge to turn into the young Sesshoumaru that still greatly missed his mother. "This isn't a visit for small talk, mother. I need father's sword, and I need it now".

Her perfect and queenly visage showed pure annoyance. "Stubborn; you are just like that wretched brother-in-law of yours. That is also a trait you have received from your father. Yet you are not as quick to act as your brother. Patience and using your stubbornness to stick to your path is a trait you have gain from me." She laughed to herself. "Son, I have missed you." She stood, her many robes swaying and swishing as she did so. She took in her son's presence one more moment, then motioned with her hand for him to come closer. "Why do you wish to have the very sword you sealed away- returned back to your possession?"

Sesshoumaru stepped forward and knelt before his mother, his hand on his knee. "Mother, with all due respect, I wish to follow in Father's footsteps. I feel as if I am ready for the Way of the Supreme Conquest. Please forgive me for disrupting your rest and honor my humble request."

She seemed to contemplate his words. With a moment of deliberation, she then looked down at her son. "Sesshoumaru, I will give you Souunga- yet you will be unable to use it to its full potential until you find a way of regaining all of your strength. I will give you your arm also, yet it will not survive long if you return to the land of the living."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. "If?"

His mother nodded with all seriousness. "You have made a dire mistake in coming here. For your hand has left the hilt of Tenseiga. You are now among the dead, unless you fight your way past the crater of this mountain."

Sesshoumaru looked up to see nothing but streams of lava swirling above him. He grabbed his Tokijin, and pointed the tip of the weapon up. "I will not fail, Mother. Give me the Sounga, I will be freed from death!" His mother smirked, and reaching to the side she lifted up a solid wood trunk. Sesshoumaru stepped up to meet her, and sheathed his sword as she opened the trunk. Inside lay his arm and the disastorous sword, incased in purple silk. He placed his clawed hand around his detached arm, and bringing it up to meet the stump at his elbow, watching as they connected and surged together. He then picked up the sheathed Sounga, fastening it at his side.

"So the son has returned for me? How touching…" said the spirit of Souunga.

Sesshoumaru scowled. "I am not like my younger brother. You will obey ME, not the other way around", he growled out while unsheathing the Tenseiga. A sword now in each hand, he crossed them in front of him, pointing the tips to the heavens. "Souunga, I command you to break through this Fuji-sama! Tenseiga, lift me towards the heavens!"

A blue glow pulsed through the Tenseiga as the purple waves thrashed about inside the active volcano. Slowly, hot magma rose through Sesshoumaru, yet he refused to let himself scream from the agonizing pain. The Sounga blasted through the top of the volcano, sending ashes high into the skies. Sesshoumaru braced the earth, then flung himself through to the other side of the volcano.

"_I am lucky, for I have survived this trial. Now, onto the next."_

Sesshoumaru's mother watched all of this from the comfort of her throne. The glow of the lava lit her pale face even further, revealing her tired, dark eyes. _"I have missed you son. This is the second time you have visited me in the afterlife. Yet you make it look as simple as child's play." _She smiled as he left her vision having one last thought.

"_Hrm..I wonder- whatever happened to that young girl that was following my son?"_

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"Lady Rin! Fuji-sama is angry! Lady Rin!?"

Rin woke up with a start. Her door was pounding with fists of her two servants. "I bid you to enter, please!" she called out, wrapping the sheets around her. The young female servants rushed in. They both looked at Rin with terror in their eyes and pointed to the window.

Rin held the sheets up to her chest as she got up, and stumbled to the window. There, facing the east she could see a large cloud of ash billowing into the skies, and the wind carried the screams of victims from far away. Rin took a moment to calculate the situation before replying.

"This is indeed a violent eruption. But we are at a safe distance." Rin nodded to her words, assuring herself the estate would be fine. But in the corner of her eye she could see the maids shaking their heads.

"My Lady, we trust in your words yet- Fuji-sama's eruption is always a very terrible omen of the things to come. Last time many demons were awakened from their slumber and many were killed."

Rin snorted, "Then what would you suggest? It is too cold of a winter for us to flee. We must stay and ride this out. I give the order for our defense to be amplified. But no more. You may go." The maids hung their heads and left quickly.

Rin never took her eyes off of the volcano's plume.

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"I have no reason to explain myself to the likes of you", growled the lord of the west. Steel and fang clashed and teeth gnashed at the two brother's throats. "I have conquered what you have not- you mere half-demon!"

"I'll make you eat those words, you fluffy bastard!" cried out Inuyasha, "KAZE NO KIZU!!!" he screamed as he raised his arms over his head, his transformed Tessiaga over his head.

"Sit boy!", and a loud thud was heard as Inuyasha ate dirt. She turned to Sesshoumaru, bow and arrow in hand. "You move one step towards your brother and I will purify you. _Don't test me._"

Sesshoumaru took in this Kagome. Now in her mid-twenties, she no longer wore the schoolgirl outfit she could be so easily recognized by. Instead she wore a pair of the traditional dark blue hakama and a smaller, short sleeved light blue shirt. Even stranger, it had "Hime" in glitter written across…her chest. Her face was thinner, and her eyes were wiser. She had seen much death, destruction, and power in the last ten years. Her aim with the bow had gotten remarkably on target, and her body in top shape from fighting and bicycling all over Japan. Yet she still had a trace of longing in her eyes- Inuyasha still hadn't left her doppelganger Kikyo behind in his heart. _"My brother is a fool."_

Sesshoumaru sheathed his sword. "What makes you think that I should heed what you say, miko?", his eyes never leaving hers.

"Because you have listened to me before. When Souunga was sealed you heard me say to combine your Dragon Strike with Inuyasha's Backlash Wave and work _together_. And that is precisely what you must do again here."

Sesshoumaru scoffed. "You have good memory. But that does not mean you are worth my time, so get to the point ningen."

Kagome bit back the urge to _sit_ Sesshoumaru since she couldn't anyways…but if there ever was a minute she wanted to, this would be it. "_Stubborn asshole." _She lowered her bow but kept it taunt.

"Sesshomaru, I have heard Inuyasha's sword master Totosai say himself that you were the only one even possibly capable of wielding the Souunga. With that in mind, if you keep strictly towards your path I commend you in your actions, as you have become our strongest ally. Forgive Inuyasha, as he is temporarily blinded by jealously and anger. He has fought hard to become as strong as he is."

Sesshoumaru understood what she was saying. All their battles thus far still weren't enough. They needed him. And Sesshoumaru wanted to rid of this vile half-demon Naraku himself. He had simply been a thorn in his side for too long. "I accept your offer."

Inuyasha stood up growled with irritation. "Don't you understand, Kagome? He's forgotten how hard we worked to seal the sword away! I also regretted losing another item of my fathers', but I sealed it with the intent that humanity would never see its' destruction again!"

Kagome shook her head solemmny. "Humanity will see that kind of death and terror again, with or without that sword. We are doomed to it if we don't destroy Naraku." She put her arrow and bow behind her back, and wringed her hands together.

"The last time I returned to my time Inuyasha, and my mother begged me not to return. The world is changing, becoming more and more dangerous. I know why we have to destroy Naraku even for my era- all demons will be absorbed into him and all demonic power will be gone as we know it. Including you, Inuyasha. Humans, alone in their existence will inherit all demonic evils and destroy everything in their path.

The demons were a counter-balance for humans in the battle for Good vs. Evil. When Modoriko fought to keep the demons at bay it was because the demons had multiplied, tipping the balance in favor of them. The Shikon Jewel was created to aid the humans in their battle, but also could aid the demons if they needed it in the event the scales were reversed again."

Kagome's eyes brimmed with tears, her head hung low.

"We have to defeat Naraku and destroy the Shikon Jewel, ending this battle for once and for all. Or we will all become our own worst enemies."

Sesshoumaru's stance relaxed. This miko knew what was ahead, and was prepared for her own death. She was indeed strong. He spoke, "We must all be prepared to fight as if we will die. You, or someone you know will be dead. This balance this miko speaks of is true, and if we succeed in killing Naraku who has absorbed and slain many demons…then we must expect casualties on our side."

Kagome's head lifted up, her gaze puzzled. Beside his cruel exterior, inwards lay a quick brain that saw right through the situation. She was surprised. "_Now if we could only get Inuyasha to do the same"_, she mused.

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Rin always heard buzzing. The servants, Jaken's squawking, papers rustling, the wind moving through the branches of the trees…all of the sounds were deafening from one season to the next. Winter came, then the spring. She watched as the cherry blossoms opened up to receive the warmth of the sun that came from the summer. Then, they were dying, falling from the branches at every wind back to the earth to become nothing more than dust. Her birthday passed with no word from Sesshoumaru. Now, even Jaken believed the Lord of the West to be dead. The castle's inhabitants mourned him, yet Rin still wore her brightly colored kimono in an outlandish display of protest. Often she would stare at the blossoms as they fell, and the servants said the blossoms were making her crazy with grief.

No one had believed Rin's pleas that Sesshoumaru actually sired a son. Aikou-Akan had miscarried early enough to satisfy most of the staff, and the rest were silenced or had disappeared. Now, the staff assumed she was insane and Aikou-Akan ruled the castle. Rin couldn't stand it. Maybe she was insane? Maybe she did not know what had really happened. She didn't know. All she knew was that Sesshoumaru was still out there, somewhere.

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Aikou-Akan waltzed into the room where Damasu slept. Wasting no time, she untied her obi and slid her kimono off her shoulders. "Why hello, darling."

He stiffened. Had he been distracted a second more, the maid wouldn't have gotten out in time. However, he was not off the hook yet. The smell of their deed was still present on his skin, and the beads of sweat on his skin not yet dried.

Yet Aikou-Akan was mistaken in thinking his stiffness was because he was worried about being caught by Sesshoumaru. She stepped forward, and promptly sat in his lap, rubbing against him. She moaned, kissing him and then soothingly whispering, "There is no need to worry, my Damasu- Sesshoumaru is most certaintly dead. We have our own castle as well." She smiled as she saw his erection growing harder, "Yes…we have this entire castle at our disposal…"

Damasu knew that Aikou-Akan trusted him and saw nothing in their way. "_Incompetent fool for a demonness."_

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Rin played with the scales, attempting to find objects of the same weight. She had tried air and water, feathers and salt, incense and roots. Nothing worked. She did notice one trend though. As she placed an object on the scale, it dipped down lower before leveling back up. _"Interesting," _she grimly mused. _"Interesting that everything must descend into further darkness, before turning back into one's favor. _

Her mind was brought back to a year ago…when Sesshoumaru had entrusted her with his greatest secret…

_She took small, shy steps to him, and sat under the tree nearest him. There, she watched him while the sun traveled through the sky. When he was done, she got up and bowed in respect whilst holding out her gift. He stepped forward and eyed her slender, bowed form. After a long moment, he took the crown, and threw it up in the air and struck it with his poison claw. Rin looked up with alarm as the petals floated down on them. "My Lord?"_

_He was looking down at her with his stoic expression, yet there was something in his eyes trying to say more. "Rin, you don't need to create these for me anymore. You never had to. I always feel you."_

"_Is there anything I can do to please my Lord?"_

_Sesshoumaru leaned forward when the flowers gave them momentary cover from the rest of the world. Rin leaned forward to hear him whisper his confession, and smiled. _

Rin was brought back to present day by a clap of thunder. She gasped, almost jumping out of her skin. Settling back down, she pursed her lips together tersely and returned to her previous thoughts about the scale. _In other words…everything must become worse before getting any better._

_And so, I have received yet another omen."_

_AN: Hey everyone. The next chapter is the halfway point of the story. I'm very excited to write it and start the second half. There will be a brief reunion of sorts. _


	9. The Night of the Blood Moon

Night of the Blood Moon

The autumn wind drove in, with the cherry blossoms and a rainbow of leaves spraying into the air. Kagome winced, remembering the confetti of New Year's celebrations in her time era. She leaned back on her hands, feeling the grass of the hill in the palm of her hands. Suddenly a change in the air tickled the back of her neck. She sighed- for she wasn't alone.

"Lord Sesshoumaru?

He came out of the clearing. "Hello, miko."

She turned to face him. "Hello to you as well, Lord Sesshoumaru."

He surprised her by sitting down beside her. As he shifted into a comfortable position, Kagome felt herself more and more startled. His presence was very commanding, and she was very curious to watch. He relaxed back onto his hands…wait? Since when did he have two hands?

Kagome gasped when she saw both hands. Sesshoumaru noticed her eyes and answered, "I received the hand temporarily when getting Souunga back. It will degenerate soon enough."

"Oh." Kagome swallowed. She eyed him as he stared ahead at the full moon. "So you caused the eruption from Fuji-sama?" she watched as he nodded. "You truly are strong, Lord Sesshoumaru. But remember your brother wants to do his father proud, and has been working a long time to acquire his own strength. Think of it as his own…conquest, like yours."

"I have watched you save him countless times miko. It is not my business, but I will say it again. He should be more grateful to you. Especially because of the task that lies ahead for you."

Kagome suffered an uncomfortable pause. "You're right, it is none of your business. But I guess if even you've taken notice of it…well, you know what I am trying to say." She brushed her bangs to the side. "May I ask one thing?"

Sesshoumaru scoffed. "You may ask, but are you not guaranteed an answer."

"What of Rin? I have not seen her in a long time."

"Rin is safe, and far away from here."

Kagome was flustered. Obviously, he did not want to delve into detail. "Well- is she still your ward? That little girl cared for you a lot. You did protect her for a long time."

Sesshoumaru glanced at Kagome, and what she saw shook her to the core. His eyed were heavy with passion, longing, and unfulfilled dreams. He was in the same position as she was with Inuyasha-_"He does care for her. He's protecting her!"_

"Do you need an answer?" He whispered quietly. He watched as Kagome smally shook her head. He sighed, staring at the full moon, feeling the heavy and still air, and the buzzing of insects. Suddenly his mind pieced the situation together. "_This is the quiet before the storm." _With no further time to lose, he got up with a flash.

"Sesshoumaru?" Kagome jumped back from the sharp movement.

"_Get. Inuyasha. NOW." _came out his feral growl. Kagome looked up and her heart sank.

Samyiosho- Naraku's poision insects were buzzing off in the distance.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She lay in bed, unable to sleep. The buzzing was especially loud in her head. It increased and got louder and louder until she couldn't take it anymore. She got up out of bed, slipped her feet into some warm tabi, and changed into her alchemist attire of a white haori and white hakama. She rang a bell for some tea and while waiting, lit and candle. After receiving her tea she sipped it, out it down with disappointment, and walked over to her trunk. She pulled out a small mirror she kept.

_Rin feel onto her knees before him and felt the tears betray her. They slipped down her cheeks and onto the floor. "Sess…hou….maru!" She brought her shaking hand forward and clutched his white hakama and kissed the fabric. "Sesshoumaru, you asked me whether I would eventually choose to marry or stay here. I choose to marry."_

_Sesshoumaru looked down at her with an eyebrow raised. "Rin, explain?"_

"_I choose to marry. Not to marry a human, but dedicate myself to serving you all of my life. This Rin gives you her life into your hands."_

Tears of longing after so much time without a word from her lord streaked down her face. She put out the candle with her fingers, not even bothering to wet them first. She took her index fingertip, and using the soot she drew a half-moon on her forehead.

The buzzing stopped.

Rin looked up, startled. Then, screams were heard throughout the castle. There, through the window she saw they were surrounded by Naraku's demons. At the front of them flew a being similar to Hadadoushi. He smirked.

"Kill them all. Save the girl…for me."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hit the Mark!" screamed Kagome as she attempted to purify the clouds of insects around them. Sango was fighting behind her, as well as Miroku. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were exchanging "pleasantries" with Naraku himself. Suddenly, she heard Inuyasha brashly charge and scream "Kaze no Kizu", and his scream of frustration one minute later.

"Another damn puppet! The coward!" he scream. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed at the small slip of paper.

"This was a diversion. Naraku doesn't want us to be somewhere else." He stated, sheathing his Tokijin. "The question is, where?" Suddenly, he realized, frozen in his contemplation. This couldn't be happening.

Kagome put her arrows and bow away. Well, we're all here...who else is close to us that Naraku would-" her face broke, and her heart fell. "Rin!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rin ran into the armory, grateful to see the guards already preparing themselves for the battle. As lady of the castle, she should address them right? Right now they looked as if they were puppies reluctantly walking into death. She ran to the large round table, and jumped onto it.

"MY GOOD MEN!"

The room froze, and every eye turned onto her. Rin gulped, took in a shaky breath, and composed herself.

"I know what you all are thinking; that we are defending a leaderless estate. But I am the person in which Sesshoumaru left charge. I believe now that whether he planned on returning or not, I was meant to this task. I have cared for you servants since my arrival, and now all I ask is this simple task.

Believe that my lord is alive. Whether you believe his values lie in your heart, or your hope for his strength runs through your veins in this battle, believe in his ability. As his ward I watched his battle tactics for over ten years. I will do my best to lead you. But we have to decide now if we are willing to trust each other.

I love Sesshoumaru, and I am prepared to fight to the death for his estate whether he is living among us or not!

We have a chance if work together. Who is with me?!"

The room stayed silent. Then, one guard brought his spear down. Then another. Then another. Soon, the floor shook with spears being brought down in a rolling applause. The commander walked up to Rin and bowed. "What are your first directions, my lady?"

Rin smiled a small smile. "Move the wife of Sesshoumaru out of this place. Make sure she leaves and heads to the south for her family. And move the defense out."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aikou-Akan ran frantically to the almost empty stables. "Damasu?" she ran to the next stall, "Damasu?" her eyes wide with fright. "Damasu, where are you?"

Finally she saw him sitting causally in the next stall over. "Damasu, darling! I've been told we must leave this place- the castle's being attacked!" She watched with sadness as he got up, with her servant girl wrapped within his arm.

Aikou-Akan's eyes flashed with anger, "What is the meaning of this?" she cried.

Damasu feigned a dramatic side and her drall, "Oh, darling…I guess I forgot to tell you…I'm leaving with this one here. Nothing I'd hate more than to have Sesshoumaru or one of his allies searching for me should he ever come back."

Tears flashed through her eyes…she couldn't say she had loved this man…but he held the keys to her life-the last mount. "I can't fly on my own anymore- why are you doing this to me?"

Damasu's mood changed into sharp, pensive and angry. "You couldn't even do your only task here- keep the child you were pregnant with. You care nothing for it and it died. You will never be able to fly again, or give birth again. This is a fundamental of our race, Aikou-Akan. Even if I didn't have to worry about Sesshoumaru, I still wouldn't make my relations to you known."

Damasu and his lover mounted the last horse. "You are the weakest-hearted creature I have ever met. You were good for a regal fuck, nothing more."

Ah-Un snorted in the next stable as he took off. Aikou-Akan looked at the double headed dragon and realized that she was stuck here. She squeezed her eyed shut, holding back the tears.

"_I'm a disgrace to my people._

_I failed my only task here._

_I have cheated on my husband._

_The only thing I can do right…_

_Is die with honor."_

She drew out a small knife she had hidden in her sleeve, and brought it to her stomach. She shoved the tip in, and drew it across her belly. She fell face down into the blood and viscera. Her last thought was, _"At least I did Seppuku right."_

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

The battle raged around Rin. All hope looked lost, and she had been slashed through on her arm, right leg, and across her cheek. Suddenly, she remembered something. "Kagura's fans!" she rushed down the stairs and raced through the halls. _"Please let me make it-" _She slid Sesshoumaru's door aside and saw the cold steel fans lying, discarded on the bed. She wet her lips and pursed them together, then picked them up.

They were still so heavy! She groaned, dragging them behind her as she made her way through the chaos and up to the highest part of the castle. There, she opened the door to the balcony of the tallest spire. Demons rushed her, and she whacked them with the closed fans. She was completely surrounded in minutes, her arms already tired from the fans. She kept fighting, even though her face was streaked with tears and her arms cried out from the pain. Suddenly the demons left her, all of them stormed inside the castle. Their defense was down.

Rin saw the body of a guard with a bow and arrow behind his back. Dropping her fans, she said a quick prayer for him.

"_Trust your instincts, Rin. They will guide you."_

She knew she had to try again to summon Lord Sesshoumaru. She tore off the ribbon with the necklace and threw it into the air. It only made it up a meager ten feet and came right back down. She barely caught it with her hands before it would've shattered onto the ground. Crying from desperation, she lunged to the body of the guard and ripped off a small cord around his wrist. Taking the arrow, she wrapped the cord around the loose ends of the ribbon and secured the pendant. She took up the bow, locked the arrow in place, and pulled the string taunt.

The wind rushed against her in protest, her hair rippling back and her hakama billowing in the breeze. She said a quick prayer, and with the remains of her energy, screamed out:

"SESSHOUMARU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A _woosh_ was heard as the arrow was released. _"Go, go, go, go, GO!"_ , she silently chanted, swallowing the lump in her throat. The arrow flew up into the air, and exploded in a red light that covered the full moon. The moon took on a red aura, a bloodly sign of the battle below. It shrunk inwardly until only the half-moon was left incased in the glow.

"I knew it!" Rin cried. "He has to be alive!"

"It doesn't matter. By the time he gets here, it will be too late", replied the smirking voice from behind her. His right arm locked around her waist and his left covered her mouth. Quickly, he shoved her down to the ground, her hitting head against the cold brick and rendering her stunned. She was paralyzed with fear as he held her down and took her virginity…Kagura's fans just out of reach. She wished for blackness and unconsciousness to overtake her, but her body was just numb to what was happening. All she did was beg over and over for him to stop. But he didn't.

Finally, she felt her body losing consciousness. "_Sesshoumaru…please…I have to see him one more time…I can't die yet._"

_AN: This was a very tough chapter to write. But there will be a reunion in the next chapter. It after that will be a filler chapter with some more humour before we get into the heart of the story. Thanks for reading thus far, and please review!_


	10. The Turning

Rin looked up to see her saviour, clutched in his arms. His eyes, flashing with passion and anger softened into concern. "Rin, are you alright?", he whispered huskily into her ear. "Hai, my lord…I missed you…" she said dreamily, her eyelids sinking and drawing her into sleep. "Don't worry anymore, Rin", he said soothing, "The villainous creature is dead."

* * *

Sesshoumaru had is arms crossed, leaning against the support beam of the door. His Rin was _not _alright, but at least the soothing herbs that brought her to sleep staved off the nightmares soon to come as well. Her right arm was broken, and her legs were covered in scratches, bruises, as well as her arms. _"He pinned her arm and broke her arm while doing this. The bastard." _He had no idea what he would say to her when she woke up.

"You there. Watch over the girl. I will survey the grounds." The servant bowed as Sesshoumaru exited the room. He needed to get some fresh air to clear his head. Walking through the corridors, no one dared to say anything. Their faces said it all- they were fools for believing he was dead, and every one of their lives were at stake for committing the treason for ignoring Rin. Including his wife. _"Where is that bitch anyways?"_

Having checked the entire inside of his estate, he moved to the stables. "_She probably attempted to leave." _There, he saw a lump towards the back of the stables next to Ah-Un. Sesshoumaru trod forward tersely as the stench of death hit his nose. Royal robes and spilt bowels colored the ground about her in pale pinks, reds, and oranges. _"Apparently, she matched her robes. Interesting." _He turned around, beckoning Ah-Un to follow. Gladly he did.

Sesshoumaru entered the castle once more, telling the first servant he say to check on the princess in the stables. "Send her back to the south and tell the family never to waste my time again."

* * *

Rin's eyes slowly opened up, and she saw that she wasn't alone. "Sesshoumaru?" she tries to sit up, and reach for him with her left arm. "Sesshoumaru- you're back!"

Sesshoumaru sat facing her side. "I'd continue that if you want to feel worlds of pain."

"What do you mean?", and giving up with her left hand she instead reached with her right, only to scream from the broken bone's protest. She fell back against the bed. "Sesshoumaru- what happened to me? Why?"

Those questions…the ones he didn't want to hear and didn't know how to answer. "Rin, you are no longer…a maiden. But you are not married, either. You were attacked, and I couldn't get here in time. In fact, when I had arrived, the culprit was gone. Tell me, was it Naraku?"

Rin closed her eyes. A tear from each eye escaped and traveled down each cheek. _"He's still alive. He got away. He's living life right now while I'm in this pain."_ After taking a few shaky gulps of air she opened her eyes and looked at Sesshoumaru for a moment.

Sesshoumaru gasped. Until now, Rin had played a good sport. She had taken her medicine; slept, and done everything she could to pretend she would be fine. But the look in her eyes confirmed that she was _not _okay. Her eyes accused him, showed disappointment in her own abilities, and worst of all- her hatred for her attacker. "Rin…" he whispered.

"He looked like Hakadoushi. But he was older. He wore a white haori from the Mainland, and hakama similar to yours, my lord. His hair was pale, between ice blue and ice purple. His eyes: bright blue and black. His voice…like Naraku's….I want to kill him! I want to see him pay for what he is done for me! No one listened to me, for months, Sesshoumaru! You left me here and ignored me here- I was told repeatedly you were dead! Why did you ignore me? Why? Why?!"

Her cries echoed throughout the castle as she started to go into shock. "A doctor- NOW!" he roared. She started to give gasps of air, much like a fish out of water. A nursing servant ran into the room, and gave her a fresh pot of tea laced with sake and medicinal herbs. "Drink, my lady, please!" Rin stuttered a protest as the nurse force-fed her the mix. Within minutes, her eyes closed and she fell back asleep. Sesshoumaru dismissed the nurse, and kneeled down by her futon.

There, the Great Lord of the West put his head in both hands and sobbed.

* * *

The garden was perfectly intact, despite the battle that had raged on just outside its walls only one week before. The sun was just a little too bright, the leaves too colorful, and the flowers too fragrant. Rin sat in the garden on a small mat she had carried there, silent and numb. She didn't want to think anymore, it hurt to. Thinking led to more sleep, and she was tired of sleeping.

One thing that also hurt was the look in Sesshoumaru's eyes. They contained guilt and sadness for her. He blamed himself. There was no place for her anymore in his life. Soon enough, he wouldn't know what to do or say anymore, and leave her life for good. She would have to live a life without him.

"Rin, may I join you?" came the voice she had been longing to hear.

She turned her back to glance at him, and then stared at the grass. "You never have to ask, my lord." She felt him sit beside her. Curious, she looked at his face, only to see him staring right at her. She looked down at his hands and examined his left arm. She looked back up into his eyes, her left arm reaching across her chest to grasp his hand. Sesshoumaru looked down at their joined hands, and leaned forward, rashly breaking his hand from her grasp. Rin's eyes started to smart with tears of rejection until she felt herself being lifted. Next thing she knew, she was sitting in his lap, both of his arms wrapped around her. Meekly, she slid her left arm under his elbow and pressed her head against his chest.

"Does your arm hurt, Rin?" he whispered into her ear.

Choking back tears, she said, "No my lord."

"Rin, do you trust me, even now?"

"Yes, my lord, always."

"Good Rin. Let me hold you a little longer."

There they held each other in the garden of their secrets.

* * *

Rin entered the room, holding a small lit candle. If she was found here, she'd certainly be punished. She quickly spotted the large object she was searching for, and rushed to it. It was made of oak and brass with a large lock. She took out the key, and turned it inside, opening the trunk. It had taken her a good long time to work up the courage to do so. "_That was three years, ago that I came here…"_ she had thought.

_That night, she dressed for bed, with Sesshoumaru at her side. Two nurses stood behind him, one carrying a tray with a small jeweled box, and the other with a small sipping bowl filled with a peculiar substance. _

_Rin settled into the futon and humbly smiled up at him. She knew what he was about to do. "Rin, I want to give something to you." He beckoned the first nurse forward, opening the jewelry box to reveal the pendant that he had given her. "I return this to you. Make sure you hide your wear of it." He waved, dismissing the first nurse. "Secondly, this is your last treatment. So tomorrow, you will be fine altogether." He paused, the next words difficult. "This will purify you of anything…remaining."_

_Rin shook her head solemnly. "I understand, Lord Sesshoumaru." He dismissed the second nurse, and they were entirely alone. "You lie beautifully, Sesshoumaru-sama."_

_His eyes flashed with pain and anger. "This is necessary." He handed her small bowl. He looked at her with desperation. "You must drink this!"_

_Rin calmly accepted her fate, drawing it to her lips and sipping. "You can leave me, hide me, or run away from me. But I will always be with you. I will always find my way back to you. I-" the herbs quickly started to take effect, her head tilting back. "I- I love you, Sesshoumaru…"_

_The bowl clattered onto the floor. _

A rat skittered in the corner, snapping Rin back to her present-day thoughts. She looked down into the trunk and saw what she had been looking for. She had never understood why she was given them if they had failed so miserably. They certainly didn't aid her in her fight. Yet this was an endowment from beyond the grave.

Rin almost doubted any of her previous life had ever happened. She had woken up in the nunnery the next day, told that she had amnesia and that she had been there all of her life since her parents were slain. She almost believed what they had to say after hearing it so many times for three years, and without a sign indicating anything of her past. This was a place of peace, calm, and prayer. Here there were no demons, no war, no pain.

She had to know; she was insane, or did all of this actually happen? Did Sesshoumaru exist entirely in her mind? She peered closer to examine the objects, and sighed a sigh of relief. She wasn't crazy. She wasn't making it up. The evidence was right there.

Kagura's fans.

_AN: Yay! The halfway point of this story! Here comes the real part of the journey. I'm excited to do the next parts of this story. I did it in a hurry, as a New Years Eve treat! I hope you enjoy! The next chapter will explain a little more what has happened to Rin in this substantial gap in time._


	11. The Three Year Crossroads

Rin woke up to find herself in a strange, new place. The blankets were soft and warm, and the wooden floor was bright and freshly scrubbed. The air was breezy on her cheek and lingered with the smell of recently cooked rice and vegetables. Hunger panged through her belly, and she sat up.

"Why hello! How are you? Are you feeling any better?", asked a middle-aged woman in simple priestess attire. Her face was round, and kind with matronly wrinkles. Her graying hair was tied back in a simple bun. Rin took a liking to her immediately. "We have been feeding you simple broth for a week, are you ready for some real food?" Seeing her nod enthusiastically, the woman chuckled and turned around towards a small fire in a section of the room that had no wood, but just tapped earth. There, a small pot was roasting on the fire with two bowls and two sets of chopsticks resting aside of a large ladle. Taking the ladle, the women poured Rin a healthy portion, and handed her the bowl.

Rin eagerly took the bowl and ate quickly. "Slower, child, or you'll get sick again. Eat carefully- that's it." Rin slowed her eating and savored every bite of the simple meal. "Arigato, it was very good", said Rin. "But I have to know, where is Sesshoumaru?"

Rin could've sworn she saw surprise flash in the woman's eyes before she responded. "Sesshoumaru? Who is this person you speak of?"

Rin started to get suspicious. "He's left me here, hasn't he? I knew it. He wanted to get rid of me. But why? –was it because I was too close to him? –or that he felt guilty for what happened to me? You must know something!"

The woman shook her head. "You were dropped off by a human that discovered you lying almost dead on the road to our humble nunnery. You were with child but the child has since disappeared from your womb. You had since had your monthly bleeding and have been recovering here. Your arm is much improved, as is your appetite. You also had a great wound on your head. It wouldn't surprise me if you were confused or have forgotten about your life before here. In time I suppose your real memories will surface." She smiled kindly at Rin. "I have lived here for a long time, and it is very peaceful here. I hope you enjoy this place of refuge and choose to stay."

* * *

Every morning, Rin got up early and scrubbed the floors before everyone else woke up. There were sixteen other women living in the nunnery, and each of them were assigned specific tasks. Rin's was washing the floors and gathering herbs. She liked to do both of the tasks in the morning, before the hustle and bustle of the day came. "Clearing the floors and clearing the head", she called it. She ringed the rag off the dirty water, and scrubbed the last bit of the floor while humming her little tune.

"**Yama no naka, Mori no naka, **

**Kaze no naka, Yume no naka, **

**Sesshoumaru-sama doko ni iru, **

**Jaken-sama o shita naiete? **

**Watashi wa hitori de matchimashou!**

**Sesshoumaru-sama, omodoriou!**"

_(In the mountain, in the forest,_

_In the wind, in a dream. _

_Where are you Sesshoumaru-sama? _

_-With an ally like Jaken?_

_I will wait alone until you come! _

_Sesshoumaru-sama, please return!)_

Rin finished her task of scrubbing the floors, and with a heavy grunt lifted the bucket of dirty water. She had been asked about her songs, and no one ever believed her. In this world, there was no Sesshoumaru-sama. There was no scawking from Jaken, and there was no war. With great distaste, Rin heaved the heavy bucket, aiming its filthy contents towards the outside peat pile. Leaving the bucket in its place outside, she strolled to the small well on the nunnery's grounds. Drawing up a bucket of clean water, she washed her face and her hands. Suddenly, Rin was taken back at the reflection she saw.

"I'm almost 18 now…it has been almost a year since I last saw him…since I have been here in this quiet place…" she mused out loud.

She was beginning to understand Sesshoumaru's reasons. She had been hurt badly, or almost killed several times in his care, the last occurrence being the most violent. He wanted to protect her from more war, and more grief. She knew exactly why. Her eyes flooded with tears as she remembered her sixteenth birthday…

_She took small, shy steps to him, and sat under the tree nearest him. There, she watched him while the sun traveled through the sky. When he was done, she got up and bowed in respect whilst holding out her gift. He stepped forward and eyed her slender, bowed form. After a long moment, he took the crown, and through it up in the air and struck it with his poison claw. Rin looked up with alarm as the petals floated down on them. "My Lord?"_

_He was looking down at her with his stoic expression, yet there was something in his eyes trying to say more. "Rin, you don't need to create these for me anymore. You never had to. I always feel you."_

"_Is there anything I can do to please my Lord?"_

_Sesshoumaru leaned forward when the flowers gave them momentary cover from the rest of the world. Rin leaned forward to hear him whisper his confession, and smiled. _

His words touched her heart beyond compare. The words she heard him say to her that day were never repeated. They were the driving force in her life, and gave her heart hope even in the darkest of times. Even now, when she was told there was never any of her life with him, and she almost believed it- but hope prevailed. She knew he was out there, somewhere.

* * *

"Sister! Please, wait up!", Rin cried, and picked up into a light jog to catch up. The kindly, older woman Rin had met on her first day in the nunnery turned around and waited for her. "Yes, my child?" Rin came up and bowed. "Thanks- I had a question. What do you have in your treasury over there?" She pointed to a small building that she had never seen anyone enter. The windows were covered in a thick film of dust. "I was wondering if I could help you…uh, clean it! It's never been opened so it's probably very dusty, right?"

The older sister smiled. "That would indeed be helpful, Rin. I've been putting off this large task. Meet me in…say, an hour's time?" Rin enthusiastically nodded. She couldn't believe the nun had accepted. Maybe nothing of her past was in there. She tried not to look disappointed, so she bowed again and ran off into the woods to find a few ingredients.

The sister watched her leave, a great forboding feeling within her. _"I hope that not seeing what she would like to find will resolve into putting her mind at ease. But to deny her seeing the building…she is a smart girl, she would become suspicious."_

"Wow…some of these statues are beautiful. Why are they in here and not on display?", inquired Rin. "Oh, that is because they are damaged or newer statues were commissioned…so we put them away to preserve them." replied the sister. The room sparkled in the light now that the windows had been cleaned off- many gilded bronze and golden statues shone with their most recent polishing. Now all that was left was a trunk in the middle of the floor.

Rin was disappointed not to find any of Sesshoumaru's artifacts in this room, but the trunk did ring a bell to her. It was in Mainland style, even if it was rather plain. The lock however, looked difficult to pick. Rin silently prayed for a moment that she could utilize her plan. Lunch would be any minute now, hopefully her plan would be discovered in the kitchen...

"Oh sister, the pot in the kitchen is broken!" cried one of the younger sisters from the main building. The older sister sighed. "What? How did that happen, pray tell?" she walked to the doorframe, her back to Rin.

"_Now!"_, thought Rin. _"It's my only chance!"_ She quickly took out two small vials from her sleeves, uncorked them, and mixed the solution together in her hands to make a putty. Taking out a third, she dosed the lock in plenty of oil. Next, she slid in the putty mixture, careful not to push it in too far. Finally, she took a firm, thin reed and shoved it through the middle. Blowing quietly on the mixture, it hardened in a couple of seconds. Rin gently pulled the reed out, sliding out the mold of the lock with it. Wiping the lock clean with her sleeve lining, there was no evidence left of her deed.

"Well, it can't be helped. One of us has to go into town and buy a new pot from the blacksmith. Rin?" Rin's head perked up as she turned around. "Yes sister?" The older sister pointed to the trunk. "Please move that against the corner wall there and then bring me the key for this room." Rid nodded, "Hai, right away sister!". The trunk, although heavy slid across the floor with ease to the wall. Grabbing the key, she pressed it into leftovers of the mixture to create another mold. Hiding both casts in her sleeve quickly she rushed to the older sister. "Ready!"

The older sister bowed. "Good work, Rin. How would you like to make a special trip for me?" Rin nodded. The sister pointed off in the distance towards a small plume of smoke. "Down the hill is a small village. Inquire about there for a blacksmith that can sell us a pot. Here is an allowance for the trip- and a little extra for your trouble. It's your birthday soon, so buy yourself a small treat with it."

Rin felt guilty for her actions and fought to look her in the eye and thank her. Yet it didn't stop her from racing to the town and using the extra money to buy two new keys. She had to know the truth.

* * *

In all the labor she regularly participated in, the fans felt lighter. They still took a great deal of effort to carry, but with excersize and practice Rin felt as if she could learn to use them in due time. She made a habit of waking up long before the sun rose to practice using them. Day after day she walked in a sleepless haze, the fog only lifting temporarily when she clasped the proof of her previous life in her hands. It was now approaching her twentieth birthday, and the old priestess was pressuring her to taken an oath of priestesshood. Rin couldn't ignore her mother turning back on her priestesshood, and all of the trouble the kindly priestess had gone through to feed, clothe, and look after her. Yet soon Rin would pass marriageable age and she would run out of excuses. The nighttime was her escape from the thoughts- it was a conscious flight to her simpler time with Sesshoumaru.

However, one night Rin made a mistake. Her lack of sleep caught up with her, and she fainted in the forest. There, she slept until well-after daybreak. Screams echoed through the dormitories and compound as they realized she was missing, and they immediately started a search for her.

The older sister thought of the treasurary Rin expressed an interest in long ago, and opened the building. She walked in, and realized with horror that the trunk was open. _"She has found what that demon left for her- I was hoping she wouldn't suspect that trunk if I let her near it! Now what shall I do? I cannot let her stay if she has been tainted by weapons of a demon." _The sister drew in a deep breath, and sensed a small demonic aura in the forest to the west. She locked the building back up, and walked out of the clearing of the compound and into the forest. There, after a few minutes walk, she saw the young sleeping woman.

She still looked so young- the dark circles were the only evidence of the girl's humanity. Otherwise, she looked like she belonged in a scene from a painting. Her long white haori and hakama spread out against the fresh grass of springtime, and her long black gossamer locks of hair spread out on a rock that her back leaned against. At her feet a small stream made its course past her, tickling her bare toes. The only thing out of place in this scene was two silver gleaming fans. _"So she must be bid to leave this place. I hoped it would not be the case. She is such a sweet girl- but her heart is not to become a sister here. Very well."_

* * *

The hot, gritty sand crunched under the feet of the four demon vassals carrying the body of Sesshoumaru's fallen wife. They had almost reached the southernmost border of the midlands, when disaster struck. Each demon fell dead, and the blood-soaked figure approached. A violet sparking shard was inserted into the corpse's heart. The teenaged, pale-haired incarnate chuckled, and greeted the body. "Why hello…I don't think we've met. I'm Hakodoushi. I'm here to take you to your new master."

* * *

Rin bit back her trembling lips as her tears flooded her eyes. She had been caught, and was being made to leave. She had no idea where she would go, or how to get there. The only thing she knew was that Sesshoumaru was out there, somewhere. The nightmare she endured years ago had indeed taken place, and he had cast her out of her life, just like her fellow humans. However, there was one difference between the human nunnery, and Sesshoumaru. The humans cast her out of them from fear. Sesshoumaru placed her out of his life to protect her. Perhaps it was a signal that it was time to find her own way through life, and trust in fate that their paths would cross again. If it was meant to be, it would happen.

With a tug on her sack and a determined nod, Rin walked the path out of the nunnery. Shortly after stopping in the small village nearby, she came unto a crossroads. After a hasty decision, and turned her heel and chose the way east.

_AN: Sorry about the very long delay. I am back in school full-time and still working two jobs to make ends meet. This is an outlet for my insomnia. Know this was a bit of an action-less chapter, but there are some hefty clues as to this fiction's future conflicts. I'm excited for the next chapter however, the Inuyasha gang will be making an appearance!_


	12. The Origin of Gei

The Origin of Gei

Rin walked downhill towards large town bustling in the valley. For a year she had journeyed east, wishing to see where the sun rose from. She wanted to see the sun rise for the entire world, and the oceanside where the fabled Horai Island had long disappeared. For that year she fought to make it on her own, fighting back the childhood urge to live in fear and scavenge for food. Instead, she went from town to town as a storyteller. Child would flock to her as she told the tales of the brave Sesshoumaru, and his brother, Inuyasha. The east was rapidly becoming settled with bigger towns, and the demon population was beginning to dissipate there, so to many these stories of villainous creatures seemed like fairy tales rather than the daily encounters Rin had known all her life. This mass migration of demons to the west helped herald the end of an era, so many children and younger adults had never experienced these powerful foes for themselves. Instead the human population boomed around the capital city of Kyoto that was emerging.

Rin thought back to a simpler time, when she lived at the nunnery. Yes, it had been peaceful, but sometimes it was the quiet that was too loud. Rin was always left to her thoughts and no amount of daily chores could drown them out. Even after Rin started to sneak into the storehouse each night to grasp her bequeathed fans again, she still had questions. How did she come to arrive there? Was Sesshoumaru alright? Had he indeed forgotten about her?

The oldest sister running the compound had never told her how she came to arrive there until she bid her to take her leave. Apparently, Lord Sesshoumaru had sent her himself in his chariot, pulled by Ah-Un. In the chest, there had been a secret compartment with a significant amount for her dowry. Rin took half, and gave the other half to the nunnery, for the rest she was unable to carry. Her most prized possession, however, is what kept her hoping that Sesshoumaru still held her in his thoughts. There within her dowry lay an exquisite necklace of violet adamant, shaped into a crescent moon.

"_He still means what he told me so long ago. He still sees me."_

She smiled to herself, and walked down the mountain towards the bustling, crowded village.

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Light scattered applause could be heard as she finished her last tale. _"Tough crowd", _mused Rin. She looked down at her sack and saw only two coins, not even enough to eat from a street vendor. Her abnormally wide eyes scanned the bustling crowd of the marketplace, hoping to see anyone moving to give her a tip. Her spirits lifted as she saw an elderly man move forward with a beat-up shamisen strapped to his back. He came to a stop before her, and cleared his throat.

"My little lady, you tell great stories. However, I must inquire- do you tell them as well with your hands? This region loves dance more than the spoken stories. "

Rin blushed and stepped back awkwardly. "Well…I've never danced for anyone before…and I don't have anyone to play music for me…" she mumbled, shuffling from one foot to the other.

The old man laughed, his face round and full of deep wrinkles. For some reason it only seemed to make his smile appear unusually larger. "No need to worry, I'll be willing to play for you, dear. I only ask half of what you earn- and my trusty shamisen plays much better than it appears."

Rin shrugged. What else was there to do? Worse case scenario, she wouldn't make anymore money, but then again, she wasn't expecting too anyways. She nodded. "Alright, sir. You have a deal. But I make no promises of my talents."

"Excellent! Since it appears you've never been trained, just follow as best as you can. I'll sing out the story, you tell it with your body. Everyone loves to dance here, so an outsider's efforts will most surely be appreciated regardless of expertise."

After a quick tuning of his instrument, the old man started, and Rin tried to catch up with the lyrics. After some initial nervousness she became braver, and her movements fluid like honeyed water. There was significantly louder applause after the kouta was finished, and Rin nodded at the old man to start another. For the first time, in a long time, she was smiling.

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Once a week, Rin met the old man and danced in the marketplace. Between the both of them, they earned enough to scrape by for a week. She had no idea where he lived, or what his name was, but she thoroughly enjoyed his company and found herself enjoying her stay in this bustling town. She had heard of the capital not being far away, and wished to stop by there at some time.

Meanwhile, her eyes scanned the thick crowd, the dust of all the feet rising up into the blazing sun. Rin panted as her feet quickly scampered through the maze of people to their meeting spot. There she stopped abruptly, spotting the old man with his shamisen up and his fragile back leaning against the side wall of a merchant shop. She rolled her eyes upon hearing his loud snore, and tapped her foot impatiently. Finally, she gently tapped on his foot, startling him awake.

"Oh, there you are, lady! Shall we begin?" He whispered raspily, with one hand holding his ancient instrument and the other reaching up to clear the dust from his eyes.

"Yes, sir, but I have a question- why is the marketplace so crowded today? It seems busier than normal…"

The old man's eyes widen. "Oh yes! The sakura blossom festival is later tonight. The Lord's family will come out of the palace today and they buy amongst the commoners this very afternoon! In fact, they should be out here soon, so do your best to impress them." The old man drooled upon remembering the tip the kind Lady bestowed upon him the previous year.

Rin chuckled, and nodded at him to begin. Three songs into their weekly performance, a large crowd had gathered around them, clapping enthusiastically. Rin took a break from the heat and let the old man perform on his own, stepping into the shade of the merchant building. There, she saw a display of fans, her eyes widening. "Oh…how much for those two?" she asked, pointing to the brilliant red paper fans with gold etching and swirling thorough the base. The merchant glanced over and replied, "Sixty sen each, or one yen for both." Rin's shoulder's drooped, for the price was way too high. The merchant glanced at her again, and then recognized her. "Hey, aren't you that little lady who dances on the side of my shop each week?" Upon seeing her nod, he thought for a minute. "Tell you what…you mentioned that you got those fans from here after you're done, and I'll let you borrow them for today. If ten people buy items from my shop after you're done, I'll let you keep them. There are a lot of people out there today, so I wouldn't mind being advertised."

Rin thanked him profusely, and hurried outside. Instead of fanning herself first, she cooled off her friend and business partner, the old man. When he finished his next song, Rin got up to start dancing again. _"Oh crap…I forgot to put the fans away…hrm…" _Having just one second's deliberation, she decided to use them as her dance. A demure smile traced her small, round lips as she remembered the many nights she practiced in solitude outside in the woods. So lost in her thoughts, was she, that she hardly noticed the crowd had bowed down, turning en masse to the group in front of her. To her, the crowd was long, healthy blades of grass twisting in the night wind. The sparkling of the lord's armor was the moon shining down upon her, and the gold showered upon the crowd where the stars shimmering across the night sky. Only when the song ended did she stop and realize her daydreaming was not real.

There, the extravagantly dressed lord and his family smiled at her, awaiting her acknowledgement. A little girl dressed in summer wear of bright yellows, greens and pinks tugged on her father's sleeve and eagerly shifted impatiently from one foot to the other. "Danna-san, can I learn to do that? Please? Danna-san…Danna-san…hey….hey….hey….hey…Danna-san?"

Rin bowed quickly, albeit gracefully as should could. "Maybe next year, my little one." She heard the warm, commanding voice of the lord address her and her partner. "Such lovely entertainment. What is your name, young dancer?"

Rin blushed scarlet, and replied from her bowed position, "Gei no Rin, m'Lord."

He smiled. "Take care then, Rin, for you almost outshine the blossoms themselves. Carry on." A rainfall of yen coins landed with a silvery, chiming clinking at her feet. The lord motioned his family to continue on their path, the bustle of the crowd reaching up to emerge from the silence once again.

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Rin ran through the crowds, surprised to see the old man wasn't there. _"I hope he is alright…but he is older. Maybe he…" _shaking her head, she refused to acknowledge the possibility that they had been separated from performing together just yet. After asking the many other street performers, no one had seen them. She was now on the edge of town by the river. "Perhaps he went to get some water…" she broke off into quick run, darting to the rushing, roaring river. There, her eyes fell upon a lump in the grass just before the mud of the river bank, off the side of the small dirt path out of the town.

She gasped. It was a human, bearing clothing. Her eyes smarted as she ran forward. "Old man! Sir!" She reached his side and delicately turned him over, discovering his eyes wide open from shock and a stream of blood running from his mouth. "Oh….oh no….who? Who would do this?"

A voice rasped behind her. "I have traveled for weeks without a snack….and now today I may get two! What great fortune…" the ground shook from the sound of the creature's cackling, its breath hot on her back.

The fire went out in Rin's eyes, rendering them into steely, cold and flat pupils. They narrowed into small slits, her eyebrows burrowed towards her sharp, small nose. She made no movements, and refused to even breathe. It was a long moment, in which Rin made a decision that would change her life forever. No more would she be the victim…but now she would be a fighter.

"Oh….are you paralyzed from fear? All the better…I got to chase after my last meal and I don't feel like running around again. Now you be a good girl and just stand right there, and you'll join that fragile old man soon enough." He cackled again, rushing towards her frozen figure.

Just then, it happened. In one second, she sunk into her knees, breathed in a sharp breath, and brought out the weapon from her obi in a quick, silver blur. Not even the demon had a chance to stop his rushed, hurried advance as the sharp object sliced right across its throat. He rasped, and his writhing body slammed into the ground. Blood splattered up onto her face, creating ink blots of maroon on the canvass of pearl white, yet she refused to blink.

"W-w-w-hooooo?" He choked out with the last of his strength. A shadow creeped up on him, and the last thing he saw was the cold, calculating eyes of his victor.

"Sesshoumaru Rin. Rin of the West."

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"Man, the more we leave central territory, the less we see demons. Are we sure that we're going in the right direction?" Whined Shippou. Inuyasha silently rolled his eyes while Kagome gently explained, again, why they were heading east.

"Sesshoumaru's region is too close to the central area, and there is a human population east that hasn't been too affected by the Wars. He's got to show up around there somewhere. He's got nothing else to take from the center, and the north is overrun by the Birds of Paradise and the White Wolf Demon clan."

"But I'm tired! This area is boring."

"Come on Shippou, you're too old to be complaining like a child. We're almost at the outpost to the central and eastern borders."

Shippou crossed his arm and sulked. Kagome just shook her head, a faint whisper of a smile on her lips. Even though the little fox demon wasn't little anymore, he most certainly retained his temper. Now taller than Kagome, he was wearing more traditional garb allocated for the fox clans, he still was only sixteen years of age. _"Wow", _Kagome mused, _"Time has really flown by, hasn't it?" _Her eyes darted to Inuyasha, where she was shocked to see the striking amber eyes staring right back at her. She smiled, and for a minute he returned her smile. Their hands inched together until the warm flesh of their palms met, and their fingers grasped the others' hand. For a moment, everything was peaceful, and perfect.

Until, that is, Miroku decided to copy their idea, except "miss" Sango's hand and grasp her buttock instead.

Kagome and Inuyasha's hands flew apart, the mood obviously broken. Already Kagome felt a lurch in her heart from missing his touch, and she sighed disappointedly. _"Oh well…I guess no matter how much time goes by, some things never change."_

Inuyasha halted suddenly, sending everyone stumbling into him as a domino effect. "Hey, watch it!"

Kagome and the rest of them glowered at him from the ground, where they are remained tangled up in a pile. "Well, Inuyasha, what is it?" Kagome gritted out through her teeth. Seeing the look of seriousness on his face, she quickly got up, as did the rest of the gang.

"A demon…" murmured Inuyasha.

"A-a-alive? Here?" stuttered Shippou, his back already retreating.

"No. Dead." Inuyasha took off, with the gang following behind. He came to a halt right before a medium-sized town, and gazed towards the river. There, he saw a small mound of dirt with spent incense, obviously marking an anonymous grave. Beside it, lay a large serpent-like creature with two large legs, and five eyes open in shock. The carcass was already rotting and one eye had been pecked at by the birds. _"Damn, what's this demon doing all the way over in the East? And who killed it?"_

Kagome caught up first, and looked down impassively. "Impressive. Only one stroke of their weapon. But who would've done this? And how did it get this far?"

Inuyasha looked her at her, and nodded. _"It's like she reads my every thought. She truly is my companion." _He glanced at the scene once more, and then signaled for them to carry on. "I don't know, Kagome…but either way, I plan on finding out why it was here. Let's stop by in the village and see if we can find some answers." Determined, he turned on his heel, leaving Kagome to skip forward slightly and walk along his side. Kagome and Inuyasha's eyes met and they shared one single thought.

"_My companion."_

AN: I know, I know, Sesshoumaru is noticeably absent. But Rin's purpose to Sesshoumaru will start to become obvious in the next chapter. Also, there is a HUGE monkey wrench coming to Rin in the next two chapters. Sorry I don't update on a schedule or anything like that- it's best if you add my story to "alert" status or in your favorites section so you can easily check back for updates. Hope you're enjoying the story so far, and please do let me know what you think. I enjoy your comments, they are rewarding. Now, here is two definitions: "kouta" means little song, and "gei" means art.


	13. The Celestial Maiden

The Celestial Maiden

The river calmed down with the coming of the low tide, with small veins of crimson slowly dissipating into the flow. The reflection showed hard, strong, eyes. The outward sharp and steel-tipped fans dipped into the river, washing away the last evidence of the battle that had occurred.

"_I suppose it couldn't be helped. I knew, deep down, that one day I would need to change." _Rin's face broke, and her posture slumped. The tension from the battle left her weary with remorse for her friend's death. Burying a friend was difficult, much more of a hardening experience than avenging his death was.

Her hands and face now clean, and her friend buried. Now came the difficult questions- how was she to make money? How was she to survive now? She started to enjoy this town, and didn't want to leave quite yet. Heading back into town, the dust rose up behind her in the hot sun, leaving a trail of unsettled earth in her wake.

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The undead corpse strode into the ruins of the castle, with the teen incarnate. Calling forth her senses she followed the trail to the small garden overrun with weeds. She wordlessly came to a stop before the marker of the grave and brought up for her arm. Flexing her fingers, she curled all but index finger, the shaking appendage pointing accusingly towards the grave of the dead body that spawned from her womb.

"Hissss-s-s-sssssson. Liesssss-s-s-s herrrrre." Her dry, parched lips rasped out the confirmation Hakadoushi needed.

"You have done well to serve my master."

"Mmmmmmy….fformerrrrrs…bbb-b-beauty. Y-y-you Promissssssedd." Her eyes glared at him, and she jerked her body to face him with such instability, the maggots eating away at her flesh fell to the ground.

"Yes…..as promised. The Honorable Naraku grants it to you…but first his son must be resurrected." His hollow, harsh violet eyes narrowed at her, "That was the deal."

The corpse growled in protest. "KKkkkkilll hhherrrrrr….thhhhhe girlllllll….withhh thhhhhe eyesssss that watchhhh."

Hakadoushi snickered. "Oh yeah, I forgot. You don't like her. Well, I suppose we could do that much." He signaled the demons to chase after her scent. "Don't worry…I'll let you eat her eyes."

The corpse rasped and hacked, which Hakadoushi could only assume was her attempt at a laugh. His eyes followed the directions of the demons in the sky, wondering how long it would be before they found her.

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Rin swallowed her pride and entered the small shop that sold fans. She bowed deeply to the merchant, whose name was Ichimaku, and explained her present state.

"Good sir, I ask only to run a few errands today for a few meager coins. Ever since my business partner left, I have no means of earning an income. May I please help you today?"

The shopkeeper shook his head. "My dear, instead of running around throughout town, how about I entrust you to a single, important task? I have created several high-end fans for the lord's house to look over, how about you deliver them? Our lord prides in keeping a highly artistic court, perhaps if you demonstrate your abilities he would be interested in having you on his court."

Rin blushed. "On court? But I'm a wandering minstrel…why would he be interested in an untrained ruffian like me?"

The shopkeeper smiled. "Because I remember a year ago, you captured the attentions of his daughter. Use this as an excuse, and luck may be on your side."

Rin bowed, and hurried along the path with the package. Using her left hand to hold to package tight to her chest, and the other to smooth her hair from her face, she suddenly became very nervous about confronting the lord for a job. _"Oh well," _though Rin. _"All I can do is try my best."_

Upon reaching the Lord's mansion, she explained who she from two guards at the gate. "Hello, my name is Gei no Rin, and I am here on behalf of the fan merchant, Ichimaku. The order is ready for our honorable lord." Receiving a nod, she continued on her way to the main path to the tallest building.

The whole compound was made up of six smaller houses circling around the largest and tallest scalloped structure. There was a pathway of colorful pebbles creating a large circle around the main house, each connecting to the smaller ones by a small walkway. The main path led directly to the main structure of the compound, with a sizable pavilion out front. The wooden doors were open, providing a view of the covered walkway allowing for an enjoyable walk to the river.

Rin reached the main building's doors, and bowed deeply. There, an attendant rushed forward to greet her. "Hello, I am Gei no Rin, here to deliver an order of fans sent by our honorable lord." The man led her silently into the large room, and turned her to her left.

"My Lord, this is Gei no Rin with a completed order for you." He cleared his throat, and Rin hastily made a deep bow. She extended her arms forward, so that the lord could examine the products and approve of them. She heard a rustling of fabric, and felt the release of the weight from her hands.

"These were made quite well. My wife and daughter shall enjoy them. However, what is this other set for? I did not order them."

Rin almost choked. Upon looking up, she saw the fans he spoke of- they were gilded gold panels with purple dyed and waxed fabric. They were about two inches longer than they should've been for a child's fan, yet they were too small to be for an adult. Rin thought quickly…_"Ichimaku- you sneaky fool!"_

"My Lord, Ichimaku of the shop remembers the day almost a year ago you graced the front of his shop with your presence. He remembered that your daughter expressed an interest in dance lessons, and provides these as a gift."

The Lord smiled. "How kind…I know purple dye is hard to come by. This is an impressive gift from a humble fan merchant."

Rin smiled back at him. "Well, he made excellent profits that day from your visit, I guess this is his way of saying thanks."

The Lord settled back into his chair. "Call my daughter in. Let her see this gift." The attendant started to pull Rin away, but the lord put up his hand. "Leave her here for just a minute. Reikan, play something for us….a kouta perhaps."

Light music played from the corner, and Rin's foot twitched. She hadn't danced in two weeks now, and was itching to. It was now or never if she wanted to make an impression. "May lord? May I make a request?" She bowed, awaiting his response.

"You may."

"May I dance for you while we wait for your daughter to arrive?"

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"Gei no Rin!" cried a high, female voice. A young girl ran up to Rin, stopping just before colliding into her. Her big brown eyes looked up expectantly, and a wide grin shone throughout her face.

"Konnichiwa," greeted Rin as she bowed to the young girl and the other courtly ladies. They all lined up in rows, and Rin signaled the musician to start. They practiced for two hours, and then Rin dismissed them. Sighing, Rin walked back to her small room in the third building of the compound. She smiled upon entering the bright, clean room, and closing the small rice-paper screen door; she sat at the tatami mat and low table. Her food had already been delivered- a simple but proper meal of riverfish on steamed rice, edamame, and sweetbread. A quick rap on the door was heard, and a servant came in with a kettle of tea. Rin ate leisurely, savoring every bite. The meal was simple, but filling. She finished the last bite, and pulled up her small mirror.

She hardly recognized her herself. Now at the impressionable age of twenty, her face rounded out a little in the cheeks, and her arms and legs were soft and lush. Her lips were still small and dainty, and her eyes large with a small crease at the top outside corners. She wore a rogue on her lips and cheeks, the corners of her eyes. She wore a nagajuban and colorful furisode, and complimenting obiHer eyebrows were shaved, with false ones penciled in higher with kohl that was held over flame. Noticing a smudge, she wiped the false brows off and penciled new ones in.

Every day in the morning she woke up early to stroll the grounds in solitude. Then, she would say her prayers at the main shrine in town. As the day started for most of the town, she was already on her way back to the compound. There, she made way to the sixth building in the Lord's grounds. Inside was a medium sized room where dance steps were practiced and she would exercise and practice with the fans that Kagura bestowed on her. Then, Rin would return to her room, wash her face, eat a small breakfast, and change into her daily court garments. She would return to the sixth building to teach for two hours, and then take a break to bathe in the hot springs sheltered in the fifth building. In the afternoons she would dance for the lord if he was expecting any guests, or read stories. If he requested neither, she was free. This was the schedule she had lived by for almost six months, and so far she was content with her new life.

On this day, the Lord was expecting a return of his younger son, but Rin was not called to work after her morning lessons. Instead, she silently worked on her longtime neglected skill-alchemy. Unwrapping a small section of cloth, she found the two vibrantly colored dead leaves the she collected from the ground. Autumn was almost here.

Putting them each into a small shell, she poured some hot water over the leaves and let them sit. Munching on some leftover sweet bread, she waited as they softened up, and then removed them from the shells. Placing them on the table, she pulled out a small vial with the solution she had tested before, and uncorked it. Taking a stick, she mashed up one of the leaves in the middle, and scraped the sap into uncorked vial. Holding her breath, she poured the contents onto the other leaf and concentrated her energy into the leaf. She watched as the leaf turned back into a healthy green.

"_The answer is blood- that is what I was missing. Blood."_

Rin finished her sweetbread, and then hopped into her mat. "Alchemy always drains me…I'll take a small nap, then take a bath later."

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Rin woke up into darkness, startling her immensely. Groping into the darkness, she found her lint and pinched her fingers. Snapping them quickly, a small spark lit the room momentarily. Finding her nagajuban, she wrapped it around her body and tied it quickly. Throwing a colorful furisode over her head as a cloak and hastily made her exit. Slipping off the clothes, she sunk into the open-air springs and rested until her skin softened. Throwing her clothes into the rafters, they hung from the pavilion as she scrubbed herself with rice gluten, then re-entered the warm springs again. Sighing in pleasure she started to sing to herself.

The small, circular bathing pavilion offered a bubbling spring and a private tub. The rafters hung low, and the outside perimeter had bamboo and wooden stakes all the way around to the gate, offering privacy all the way up to the shoulders of the average person. Towels and rice gluten were provided on a small armoire by the door, as well as several combs for hair. The custom in this region was to rarely wash long hair- instead it was combed through with a very fine tooth comb, which got out all the grime, dust, and dirt. It was standard for the ladies of the court to comb each other's hair, but since she was a servant, she had to pay the dresser in town to do it.

Rin got out, and used the towel to pat her body dry. She slid on the thin nagajuban, and wrapped her furisode around her slender frame. With no obi, it hung at her sides framing her bosom and standing out from the smooth nagajuban. She stepped out of the pavilion, and walked towards the path. Stopping at the gate she looked up to discover the moon shinning a pale light through the clouds. "A crescent moon"…mused Rin outwardly, and she drew her hands up as if to touch the moonbeams.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Not moving her face, she lowered her pupils to see a man standing there. For a second she retained her posture, as if stuck in a painting and unable to move. Only when she accepted the moment was broken did her lower her arms back to her sides. "Yes, sir…the night is beautiful." She bowed in greeting to him.

The young man chuckled, and bowed back at her. "I meant you, m'lady. But I suppose the rest of the night has its charms, too."

Rin bit back a laugh. The line was so cheesy, and she was uncomfortable. She had never received arduous attention before, and she hadn't the faintest idea what to do. "M-m-my name is Gei no Rin. But you may call me Rin."

"Rin is your name? How beautiful, my maiden of the moon." He smiled warmly at her.

Rin blushed furiously. He was indeed charming, if not cheesy. He brought her hand to his lips and, after a moment of hesitation, kissed her small fingers softly. "Rin, I must make a confession to you. You are the perfection of beauty in my eyes. Marry me."

Rin, startled, laughed until she realized he was serious. His hesitation, cheesy lines…he must be just as nervous as she was. Accepting this explanation, she told him, "Ask me again on the crescent moon until you have asked once for every year old I am. If you succeed, I will be yours."

The young man grinned. "I will- you are worth the wait, however long you may choose it to be. Until then, please tell me more about you, Rin. May I have your hand in a walk for the time being?"

The clouds had grown heavy, and rain poured down onto them. They laughed, running to the shelter of the riverside walkway. Her hair's tie slipped out, slipping her tendrils down her shoulders and back, her bangs curling onto her forehead. She stripped off her furisode as to not catch cold- wearing only her nagajuban. He slid off his long hakama, and placed it over her shoulders. "Here- the bottom layer isn't wet. I wouldn't want you to catch cold." His hands momentarily rested on her shoulders before sliding back to his sides.

Rin felt flattered- no one ever asked to hear about her life, or took interest in what she had to say. Unless Sesshoumaru had charged them too, of course. But even then Sesshoumaru rarely asked her opinion on things until the last days they spent together. This is was new, and different. Without even realizing it, she moved her hand to his, and he held it up to help her inside the last partition onto the riverwalk. Together, they walked under the long covered bridge by the spring, and they talked there that night until the moon reached the top of the sky, signaling midnight. They bowed in parting, and the man left honorably, true to his word.

Rin bid him farewell until the next full moon, and turned to go to her own quarters for a nap. Only then had she realized she had been so full of butterflies, that she never asked his name! Her face with flushed with ardor, and her heart felt hopeful. Maybe she could move on. She had known for a while that it was time to find her own path separate of Sesshoumaru, but she had thought they would still have a destiny within each other. Perhaps it was time to make her own path in this world, and willingly leave behind the past of demons, legends, and Sesshoumaru. If it was meant to be, then one day it could still happen.

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Bodies lay scattered throughout the premises. Bitterly and coldly, Sesshoumaru went through them all, unable to locate Rin or the trunk she had been left with. _"She must've left before the attacked occurred"…_he thought, with relief flooding his veins. _"I must find her and make sure she is safe. I must not interfere with whatever path she has chosen for herself."_ He followed her scent along the road, wanting to find her current location as quickly as possible. He traveled for two days and two nights before stopping. The buzzing was following him- if he kept going he would lead Naraku right to Rin. The cold wind from the North was blowing in- he would wait until winter was over and the insects were dead, then he would continue.

"**_Rin, don't forget."_**

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Rin often wondered about her suitor. Once a month after their meetings, she would stumble into class exhausted. It seemed each month they talked longer and longer, until the last time- they had talked until sunrise. They watched it together and then bed each other good morning, laughing. Once Rin had asked him what he wanted the most.

"_Well, my father has been insisting I marry since I turned sixteen. That was ten years ago. But I wanted to see more of this world. He was kind and let me. I saw so many great monuments, many sunrises, great storms, beautiful country, different peoples…yet I had no one to share my experiences with. It was then when I realized- I wanted a companion. A woman that was beautiful, compassionate, well-learned, artistic, and capable. But none struck me specifically. Then I met you."_

_Rin blushed "I am flattered, good sir. So tell me- will you tell me your name today?"_

Be it that he pursued her hand; he still never gave his name. Rin often wondered why. However, a tug on her robes brought her back to the present moment. She looked down to see the young lord's daughter peeking up at her.

"Lady Rin, I know a secret. And the other ladies tell me that's why you're sleepy today."

Rin attempted to keep a stern look on her face at the child for play. "Oh really? And what might that be?"

The young girl motioned her to lean forward. Complying, Rin heard giggling from the ladies. Rin's eyes widened when heard the young girl's words, and she raised a hand to her mouth.

"My brother, the second prince in line to the throne at the Capital wants to marry you when you turn twenty-one!"

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Rin paced in her small room. Tomorrow was the night she turned twenty-one, and it was also the next crescent moon. She would be honest and tell him her decision. But what was her decision? "I can't! I can't marry him…I'm not ready…" she plopped down onto her mat, her shoulders loose and her face tense. _"Am I ready to move on from Sesshoumaru? Will I ever be able to wake a day without thinking of him? Will these lips ever forget his kiss?" _ She groaned, falling back onto the sheets and letting out a sharp exhale. "_Forgetting him is like forgetting how to breathe."_

"**I'll never forget, Sesshoumaru."**

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**AN: Will Rin accept? Or will she decline? What doesn't she want to forget? And who will Sesshoumaru surprisingly join forces with? All these questions will be answered, and more in the next chapter. Which, of course, is already halfway done. There have been many great suggestions for this story, however you will just have to wait and see what happens!**

**More Japanese words:**

**Reikan- court musician**

**Nagajuban- under robe**

**Furisode- long sleeved kimono that unmarried women and young ladies wear**

**Obi- belt or sash around the waist**


	14. A DreamLike Trance

A Dreamlike Trance

"Lady Rin! It's time!" exclaimed her maids. They excitedly chattered as they layered Rin in the traditional Heian wedding robes. Twelve layers of the finest silk adorned her body, all in shimmering blues, purples, greens and purples. One maid applied rouge to her cheeks, a thin layer of sparkling green paste ground from beetle wings to her eyes, and a red tint to her bottom lip. Her hair was combed through with soft wax until her long hair was full and thick. Her thin, silver crown was more like a jewel-encrusted headband that ran across her forehead and settled just above her ears. The sides were adorned with sakura blossoms, and silver flutters. Finally, a thin silver veil with petals sewn into the precious fabric was placed over her head, hanging down to her hands in the front and far behind her longest skirt in the back. The ladies all stood back, and smiled. The head maid-in-waiting stepped forward with a silver mirror. "You do indeed look like a lady of the moon, Lady Rin. Just like your betrothed requested!" She grinned with pride at her handiwork and placed the round silver glass into her hands. Rin took the delicate object, and took a look.

"_What I see in the mirror is a bride. But there is no Rin. Today, Sesshoumaru's Rin must die."_

The maids led her out of the room towards the center of the village. Even though Rin's future husband was not the village leader's firstborn, they were a favorite of the people and by overwhelming request; their marriage ceremony was to be public to all. To all the young ladies in the village, Rin's chance marriage was a fairy tale, and very rare in the annals of feudal Japan. Their courtship had been heavily romanticized and elaborated upon.

However, Rin did not spare time for thoughts of the courtship she held with her future husband. Instead, her mind was still frozen in a moment she lived in long ago. She was numb "with love struck apprehension" as the maids called it, but Rin was barely aware as they walked down the wooden hallway of the castle towards the village center, basking in the light of the sun.

_She took small, shy steps to him, and sat under the tree nearest him. There, she watched him while the sun traveled through the sky. When he was done, she got up and bowed in respect whilst holding out her gift. He stepped forward and eyed her slender, bowed form. After a long moment, he took the crown, and through it up in the air and struck it with his poison claw. Rin looked up with alarm as the petals floated down on them. "My Lord?"_

_He was looking down at her with his stoic expression, yet there was something in his eyes trying to say more. "Rin, you don't need to create these for me anymore. You never had to. I always feel you."_

"_Is there anything I can do to please my Lord?"_

_Sesshoumaru leaned forward when the flowers gave them momentary cover from the rest of the world. Rin leaned forward to hear him whisper his confession, and smiled. _

"_**Rin, you are my destiny. No matter what happens, never forget it."**_

"Rin?"

"Yes?"

"Do you accept this man as your partner?"

"Yes. I do."

A roar was heard behind her, startling her. She then realized that it was the crowd of villagers. She was married, and now it was the time to leave the world of Sesshoumaru behind, on her own accord.

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"Lord Sesshoumaru? My I join you?"

The ice lord stared ahead blankly at the village ahead. There was a celebration going on, and he knew exactly what had happened. He had no clue as to how she ended up here, but nonetheless he was glad to see her safe and well taken care of. He let his mind carry to the miko in his presence, eyeing her from the side. "You are Kagome, correct?"

He didn't need to turn to see the startled look on her face. She had never been addressed by her name from him before, but he held a deep respect for her after watching her for the past decade. She surpassed Kikyo's spirit, the monk's patience, guarded her heart more carefully than the demon slayer, and he almost reckoned that her powers could give Inuyasha a run for his money.

Kagome smiled. "Thank you for calling me by my name. I am humbled." She stared off towards the village, and then realized something. "Lord Sesshoumaru…are you going to join our venture into the village?"

"I cannot."

Kagome eyed him suspiciously. "With all due respect, Lord Sesshoumaru…don't you mean you will not?

He scoffed. It was a bitter, angry, and dismissive sound, but Kagome knew better. Closing her eyes, she reached into his aura and felt a sadness that jutted through her throat and pierced into her heart. "_My God...I cannot even breathe, it is so painful…is this what he feels?" _She followed the source of her pain, and opened her eyes. "The bride…" she whispered just loud enough for him to hear. _"Rin."_

Sesshoumaru stared ahead, refusing to allow a change in his face or posture to confirm her thoughts, yet Kagome knew. "Do not resign yourself, Lord Sesshoumaru. As strong and as powerful you may be…you still cannot predict what the future holds."

Sesshoumaru turned to face her, and Kagome froze in fright. He was seething angry and it frightened her to the core. "You should take your own advice before you give it, Kagome. I know very well what you plan to do."

Kagome hung her head. "You've called me out on that one, that's for sure. Do you still want some time to yourself? I can come up with a reason for us not to enter the village if that's ok. I'll just say….that you'd scare the villagers, and there aren't any of the herbs around that I use in my concealment spell."

Sesshoumaru nodded his approval. He distantly heard the miko promise to return soon with food and sake, but his eyes remained on the bride and her new husband. The vibrant spring burst with warm breezes and carried the sound of wind rustling through fully blossoming trees. The earth was rejoicing in rebirth, yet he felt as he remained as cold as winter. There, he kept himself in his own dreamlike trance.

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Kagome ventured into the village with Miroku and Sango, and smiled on her way. "Why shouldn't we celebrate a little? We've barely taken a break in the past ten years."

Miroku grinned. "That's for sure."

Sango gasped. "Oh the bride looks so pretty." She squinted her eyes to get a better look, "Wow, she's wearing all twelve robes, too. That's gotta be a little warm."

"So tell me, Kagome. Why can't Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru follow with us?" inquired Miroku.

Kagome winced, hating to lie. "Well, you see, Se- Inu- Sh- uh…They might scare the people, especially if they're drunk. But we can take away or own alcohol and food anyways. So eat a little and then put the rest in your sacks."

They all nodded in agreement, except for Miroku. He just eyed Kagome suspiciously. After all, earlier she stated that none of the herbs for her concealment spell could be found. And yet, Miroku clearly saw at least two of them on their way into the village. _"Something's up, Kagome…what are you hiding?"_

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Rin and her new husband sat at the center of town under a canopy to shelter them from the sun. There, all the villagers and noblemen of many provinces kissed her right hand, then bowed in respect to her husband. The receiving lie took hours, with several small breaks as so Rin and her new husband could sip the sake and rice cakes delivered to them. Soon the sake took effect, re-entering her from the state of horror to the state of pleasant numbness again. Finally, after the receiving line finished, Rin and her husband stepped out into the town center again, receiving cheers. Nothing woke Rin from her shock until her husband wrapped his warm, strong arm around her. "I love you, my dearest Rin."

Unable to cry, she whispered back, "I love you, too." _"My dearest Sesshoumaru…"_

**AN: Yes, this chapter was much shorter. But it's very compact for everything that happens. Now we're going to take a break from and have some funnies in the next chapter. I'd love to see some more reviews my way, wherever I get more reviews I will update first. I am also accepting fan art. I'd like to put a cover on this story at media miner and a few other places where I post this, and I'm also curious to see what you guys think grown-up Rin might look like. Many thanks to Inuyasha-fiction, you guys are seeing this chapter first.**

**Extra Note: I know there are some of you threatening not to read anymore if certain things don't happen, etc…but I am writing this story because I don't want to write the same thing too many people have already written. Rin is human, with human faults and partaking in the styles of her time. Shaved eyebrows, blackened teeth, whitened skin, waxed hair, and crushed beetle wings are all part of a lady's beauty regimen back then. A profitable marriage for the sake of security was ideal, if not necessary. Back then honor was a higher moral than love. The reward will be sweeter if the trials are greater, hrm? So bear with me and have faith that, yes, this is a Rin/Sesshoumaru story.**


	15. Sake Slip Ups!

Sake Slip-Ups!

Kagome stirred the pot of rice, making sure the underside was not getting burnt. The light from the fire softened her features- this year she would be turning thirty years old. Truth be told- she felt older. Sometimes she winced at Inuyasha's brute immaturity, other times she patiently reminded herself it was Inuyasha's way of keeping their space.

Kagome had longed for the hanyou's touch, or confessions for a love time. After Kikyo had passed on, he had grown solemn for a time. Kagome left him space to grieve. Then space to decide. Then, the walls of their separation slowly broke way, both of their hearts tugging for the other. A burst of laughter slammed her back into reality. Shaking her head clear, she refused to let her thoughts drag her down further.

"Kagome, you've hardly touched your sake!" protested a laughing Sango. Kagome smiled back at her- it was good to see her smiling. Sango was flushed with the sake already, and leaning against Miroku's shoulder. Kagome grinned, taking a sip. "Hey, I have an idea!"

"Oh, no, not again!" mumbled Inuyasha, his mouth full from rice cakes. "What's your idea?"

"Hey, what's wrong with my ideas?" Pouted Kagome, her cheeks red with annoyance.

"Stop." Said a calm, cool voice.

"Whatever, Sesshoumaru.", growled Inuyasha. "What's your idea, Kagome?"

Kagome perked up. "Well, in my time, people often play drinking games. One is where you spin a bottle, and whoever it points to you have to kiss. Then those two people have to drink. Another is where each person has to tell two "truths"…one of which is made up, and the other is real. We go in a circle, and if you guess wrong, you have to drink some sake. If someone calls you out on your lie, you have to drink!"

"Wait…how can you tell two truths if one is wrong?" interrupted Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha, let's try these games of Kagome's time." implored Miroku with big eyes. Sango giggled in agreement, her cheek resting against his shoulder.

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The gang had gotten bored of the first game, since Sesshoumaru promptly destroyed the bottle when Inuyasha had spun it to point at him. But poor Shippou sat in the corner scowling since he was made to kiss Kilala. Upon his request, they decided to move onto the next game.

"You start, Sango!" asked Kagome. Sango took the flask and giggled. "Um, ok. The first one is….I'm deathly scared of monks…and the second is that one day, I would like a baby boy." The group cheered, and Miroku guessed. "I think you are lying about your 'fear' of monks, my dear Sango." Sango giggled, drinking another sip of sake, and passing the flask to Shippou, who was seated next to Sango.

"Ok- I hate the taste of sake, and I always wondered what Kilala would look like as a human." He looked at Kagome with large eyes, awaiting her response.

"Um…strange. Well, I'll go with you hating the taste of sake." Shippou giggled, "Nope!" Everyone opened their mouth to say it, but Miroku' voice broke through first "I think the other is the truth!" Shippou grinned, "You're right, Miroku. Kagome, you have to drink!"

Kagome tilted her head back to take a generous gulp, and then handed it back to Miroku. "Your turn!" Miroku scratched his chin thoughtfully, and then answered with a sorrowful tone. "Alright, then…I am…I know it will be a shock- but I am a virgin, and-"

"THAT'S TRUE!!!!" all exclaimed, and Miroku's shoulders slumped. He handed the bowl back to Kagome. "Well…I once flashed the entire school by accident, and I have touched Kikyo's breasts. What?"

Miroku, Shippou and Inuyasha both stared at her with open mouths. Sango looked shocked. Kilala hopped up to Sango's knees, waving her paw in front of her face to snap her out of it.

"No way…." Protested Inuyasha.

"Ohhhhh….way….." drooled Shippou.

"Ohhhhhhh………yes!" moaned Miroku.

Sango guessed. "You flashed your school?" Kagome beamed. "Nope!" The men all moaned. "That's no fair, in all the time I knew Kik-" Inuyasha stopped upon receiving a glare from the entire group. "Fine, ok, my turn."

Kagome grinned, handing the bottle to Inuyasha. "Ok, fine, here I go. And you have better not laugh. I have to think of something." He took to moment to look across the fire, noticing Sesshoumaru was barely paying attention, his eyes tracing over the village in the valley below and his fingers weaving the blades of grass and thin branches together. "Ok, the first one is…I've always wanted to be human. The second is- I've always been envious- I mean, Sessh- I wish I got to know my father."

Miroku and Sango were whispering sweet nothings in each others ears. Shippou was teasing Kagome about her revelation, but her eyes were locked on Inuyasha. _"Oh, Inuyasha…that had to hard for you to say."_

For a moment, Inuyasha was tense, waiting to see any sign that he had heard. Sesshoumaru turned his head slowly to Inuyasha. "Sometimes, brother, I wish you knew him too." Inuyasha's face twisted from shock to a large grin. "So what's your truth, Sesshoumaru?"

"I do not want to die like my father." Inuyasha took a moment to contemplate. "I'll drink to that." Leaning over, he grasped his brother's wrist, and Sesshoumaru braced his. Over the small fire they shook hands of truce, erasing the fights of the past. After all, differences aside, they were still brothers.

Kagome watched with a small, Mona Lisa smile.

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"Sango?"

"Yes?"

There was a long moment of silence. The quiet moment roared with the rushing of blood in their veins. They both waited for the moment to come. Finally, he sighed, letting the air escape his lungs freely. _"Just let go."_

"May I hold you?"

Sango's eyes widened at his question. With only a second's consideration, she moved forward. She entered his extended arms, sliding hers around to clasp her hands onto his lower back. "Yes, Miroku." She rested her eyes, closing them peacefully, and laid her cheek against his chest above his heart. She felt one arm wrap around her, and the other draw up her chin slowly. There was a soft smile on her lips and he leaned forward and finally kissed her there, in the light of the crescent moon.

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Rin protested the maid. "I refuse to put on that nasty stuff! I'm sorry, but I will go without it." The maid pursed her lips together. "Very well, milady, but once you are married, as you have been, it's custom to blacken your teeth in these parts. You will be seen as unlady-like!" Rin snorted. "I really don't care about being ladylike, after all I am still to teach dance, and my husband isn't directly the heir to the throne. It'll be fine." Rin waved her hand for dismissal, and maid gave up, closing the door behind her. Rin looked ahead onto her small dressing table, leaning forward slightly to grasp her mirror. There, she saw a ghost of herself in her eyes. They looked large, haunting, and almost dead. She whimpered slightly at the sight, repeating the mantra that rushed through her brain for the past few hours. _"I am doing what he did. I married. I had too, just like he did. He would be proud of me if he saw what I am doing now. And one day, we might be joined again."_

Rin blinked back tears, trying to forget her memories with him. Any day now, her new husband would be here, and there wedding night would commence. She had to get it together.

"_Sesshoumaru! Are you trapped by this 'honor' and 'duty'? Why don't you just live? -Or are you scared of becoming your father-" _

_Rin was cut off from any more. At first she though she had died, hearing a roar and the wind rustling throughout the room, then she realized Sesshoumaru's lips were on hers. At first she was too terrified to move, and then her body licked with fire as she brought her trembling hands up to his bare, muscular shoulders. Trails of tears slid down her cheeks and onto the floor. His lips melded into hers roughly as their bodies pressed against each others' passionately. His hips ground into hers as she responded hungrily by running her fingernails down his back. Rin's head swirled dizzily as she thought with wonder, "Sesshoumaru is kissing me"._

"_Sesshoumaru-sama? Sesshoumaru…dearest-" He spun around quickly, and drew her close to his chest, ragged breaths escaping and trailing down her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. She felt a warm wetness at the collar of her kimono, and together their knees gave out. Under the falling petals and the soft moss of the garden floor, Rin lay there and held the Great Lord of the West close to her heart as he cried._

_Rin couldn't believe her ears. She just experienced her first kiss, and from the man she loved no less! Was everything that she had done shameful to him? She stood up at him, strode over and slapped him. "I am –NOT- just another ningen! How dare you remind me of that every chance you get! I ran into danger years ago to save Tenseiga for you, not because you needed it for strength, but because it was a keepsake from your father! Don't you remember that? I will prove to you one day that I am different! Just you see! Then you'll be sorry for calling me that!"_

Her hands shook as she rested the mirror on the table top, and picked up the sake bowl. She took a sizable gulp, as if to forget all of her memories by washing them away. A small tickle escaped by the left corner of her mouth, which she wiped away with the back of her hand. Placing the empty bowl, she felt the sake at work warming her veins and heating her tears. Scowling, she wiped at them with the back of the same hand. Taking her comb, she idly ran it through the ends of her locks. She heard a quiet, gentle knock at the door.

"My wife- I hope I am not interrupting. I hope you find your quarters reasonable, no?" His kind face beamed down at her, his fingers nervous at his sides. She could tell he wanted to reach to her, and to hold her, but was awaiting her vocal approval. She tried not to hesitate for too long before moving forward to take his hand. Her body felt alien and strange, acting of its own accord as she brought her arms around his waist. There, for husband sighed happily, knowing that it was alright. "I am so pleased to have the most beautiful wife. Our life will be perfect together."

"Yeah" said Rin timidly, "Perfect…"

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"You are restored to your former beauty, Aikou-Akan. His son is also among the living. Everything is going according to plan."

The demonness strode over to him angrily. "Not everything, Naraku. That Rin girl is still alive, no? I want her dead."

Naraku laughed. It wheezed and rasped deep in his throat, like sandpaper grinding against flint. "Why, so you can claim Sesshoumaru as your mate once more?"

She growled, crossing her arms. "Pathetic- I would never touch the man that preferred human flesh over me. He is such a fool. I simply wish for that little slip of a girl to die a violent death for eyeing me with those large, annoying, damned eyes of hers." She took a moment to look down at Naraku, a small twitch within the corners of her mouth. "As for mating, I would much more prefer a creature that knows exactly what he wants, and isn't scared to have it." She slid down to her knees in one fluid movement, just steps away from his sitting form. Her eyes locked with his, she sauntered on all fours to his body. Her lips were only an inch away, her hands on each of his inner thighs lightly massaging them. "However, there are more important matters right now- let me thank the demon that has brought me back to life."

Naraku snickered inwardly. She was a creature of pure malice and hatred now, and at his disposal. He would truly enjoy her pleasurable company for now, even if he had no intention of killing that girl just yet. He needed her- he sent just enough demons to allow Sesshoumaru to think she would be in danger.

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"Mew."

Shippou looked down to see Kilala watching him. He had gone off a distance to think for a while, hoping to forget the thoughts that constantly plagued him. His jaw was now square, and his long auburn hair was tied back. His shoulders had rounded and his calves were strong. He wore short hakama, preferring to feel the wind against his legs as he ran. He was now eighteen, and his still young and impressionable heart wished to have a girlfriend. However, it seemed as if fate had something else in mind.

"What is it, Kilala? Whatcha need?" He sighed as he watched the demon cat walk away a few steps. For some reason, Shippou felt the need to follow her. She stopped and looked at him, and with a small meow she continued into the forest. There, a sizeable river was rushing by within the clearing. Kilala hopped into the water, sinking to the bottom without bothering to swim. His brow furrowed in concern, and in one quick movement he slipped off his clothes. "Kilala!"

Jumping into the water, he didn't see the cat demon anywhere. Looking forward, he saw a young woman floating in the water. Rushing to her, he saw the she had light blond hair and dazzling emerald-hued, almond shaped eyes. She reached out to him, her fingers caressing his shoulder.

"Oh…." He looked down, realizing that there were black stripes along her wrists. Letting his eyes trail down her body, he felt himself harden. A soft hand stroked his chin, raising it up to meet her eyes. There, in the center between her brows, was a black diamond mark. "Kilala…"

She grinned- a toothy smirk that showed the tips of her fangs. She turned, swimming for shore at a breakneck speed. Shippou gazed at her as if stuck in a daze, and then quickly took after her. _"A chase…she wants a chase…" _His mind screamed with joy as he ran out of the water. He saw her small, lithe body strewn on the shiny, glistening pebbles, her hair fanned out from behind her. He pounced onto her, digging himself deeply into her. She never spoke, but let out mewls and moans of pleasure. Shippou groaned as he came, slowing down to catch his breath. Kilala winked, reaching up to nuzzle her cheek against his neck, and grinding her hip against his. He shivered in pleasure as she flipped him over, rocking against him until he was ready to continue again.

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Morning broke, and the camp was slowly to rise. Miroku and Sango were curled up in a bag together, Inuyasha was leaning against a tree trunk with Kagome's head on his shoulder, and off in the forest Kilala and Shippou awoke to see each other- except Kilala had returned to her natural form. Shippou's ear piercing, shrill scream echoed throughout the forest, birds fled from the treetops, and dust rose from the vibrations of his voice.

"Mrm…Kagome?"

"Yes? I have a horrible headache."

"I think Shippou screamed. Like a girl. Just now."

"Let Sesshoumaru get it." Kagome mumbled as she snuggled in to the warmth of his chest, happy to feel his heartbeat for a while longer.

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"_Sesshoumaru…you are here." The moon shone from behind him, leaving only his silhouette visible. "Rin" he murmured, taking her into her arms. _ _His lips made a trail down to her breasts, ripping the soft white kimono open. His claws pinched at her sides_ _as he suckled on one flat, coin-sized pink nipple, her hands drawing circles on his shoulder blades. He nipped on her breast, causing her to dig her nails into his flesh. He growled, hoisting her up onto her dresser. Their mouths battled each other's as their hands shook and fumbled through the other's clothing- Rin's kimono slid to the ground, and Sesshoumaru's armor came down onto the ground with a loud clatter, with his haori following. Rin clutched at his hair as he parted his hakama and slid them aside. Breaking the kiss, they stared deep into the other's eyes waiting for the moment to come. A glimmer of carnivorous lust flashed through his eyes, and with a jerk, he entered her…_

Rin awoke with a start. Her sheets were a tangled mess, as if she had thrashed about in her sleep. She dreams had been pleasant- no…absolutely breathtaking. Her nude body was covered in a sheen of sweat from the heat of her dreams, and the morning's hot sun. The warm breeze flew in from the window, the light of mid-day flooding her room. Her new husband was gone- he left shortly after they consummated their marriage. He had been gentle and very sweet- it just surprised Rin that they had separate rooms. However, she was glad for the distance.

She rose from the bed, and slipped on a white haori that ended at her knees. Covering her frame, she lazily stumbled over to the window to close it. There, with a shock, she discovered a crown of flowers placed on the windowsill, just like the ones she used to make for her Lord Sesshoumaru. She frantically peered outside, seeing no sign of any footprints outside, or disturbances along plants by her window. It was as if it had mysteriously appeared out of nowhere.

"Sesshoumaru-sama" she sighed softly, hoping wherever he was, he could hear her whisper against the wind.

**AN: This week receives my latest chapter first (and a day before any other site) to the most reviews for chapter fourteen. I highly enjoyed writing this chapter, and I hope you enjoy reading it. And now, for a hint on next chapter: two people die, who do you think they are? Also, I am accepting fan art submissions for this story. Thank you very much, and please review!**


	16. Fight or Flight

Fight or Flight

Rin sat near the window for the second season of the year since her marriage, contemplating the horizon. Every morning, she checked the windowsill, only to see nothing there. She would sigh, closing the window while holding back tears. She would go back daily schedule after watching the sun rise, but until then she stayed frozen- still hoping there he would be revealed among the shadows of the forests when the sun rose. Day after day this repeated, rising from her slumber wearing only a open weave ro juban, to wearing a warm double-layered juban and shawl wrapped tightly about her. Each time, her eyes flickered with sadness. Through the seasons, the buzzing of insects followed her into her descent into sorrow and depression.

"Sesshoumaru-sama." she whispered.

The walls spoke- every castle maid and servant noticed the circles under her eyes, and the wobble in her step. She stayed relentless in her goals- dancing, training in her alchemy and excerise privately, and keeping a transcript of her progress. She mumbled and hummed the same mysterious tune to herself over and over again as she wrote:

"**Yama no naka, Mori no naka, **

**Kaze no naka, Yume no naka, **

**Sesshoumaru-sama doko ni iru, **

**Jaken-sama o shita naiete? **

**Watashi wa hitori de matchimashou!**

**Sesshoumaru-sama, omodoriou!**"

_(In the mountain, in the forest,_

_In the wind, in a dream. _

_Where are you Sesshoumaru-sama? _

_-With an ally like Jaken?_

_I will wait alone until you come! _

_Sesshoumaru-sama, please return!)_

"_Today, I have woken to enjoy another day. But the days grow colder, as well as my heart. This is no way to live. I feel caged, as if I have nowhere to turn. It's a golden cage that ensnares me with all the desires I do not ask for. _

_I am treated well here. Clothing, food, housing all arranged- but I still do not feel quite at home. My home is among demons. It is the ningen that resemble monsters in my eyes. I feel truly alone."_

More often that not, she was found distracted, and lost. The Lord of the village watched during her performances as her eyes stayed focused on a distant dream no one understood. Everyone assumed and gossiped about how Rin missed her dearest husband- but he knew it was not the cause of her stress. His suspicions were confirmed on the night of his younger son's arrival. Her arms outstretched, her her laughter loud, yet eyes remained heavy- even through the wide smile on her face.

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Finally, on the coldest night of winter, Rin awoke from a most restless sleep. Her neck was aching, and her head was pounding as she rubbed her eyes and opened the window.

There, winter was in its purest form. A soft blanket of snow coated the ground,and wet flakes drifted lazily to the earth. Her eyes flickered with a hint of sadness as she scanned the horizon.

There, she saw a brief flash in the forest. Her breath hitched in her throat, and she ran down the corridor. _"Sesshoumaru-sama!" _Her feet pattered against the polished wood as she ran outside, tears lost in the fray.

"_SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!!" She screamed inwardly..._

At the forests edge, all was still. Her eyes frantic and searching, her chest heavy.

"_Had I imagined it all?"_

"_Am I going mad?"_

She collapsed onto her knees, ignoring the sharp, icy fury of the snow digging under her skin like miniature daggers. The wind picked up, mussing her long black hair and driving more snow into her warm winter uchikake.

"Rin."

Rin looked up pitifully at the tall figure. "My lord..."

The lord of the village looked down at her. His face carried a mixture of sympathy and shock.

"What are you doing out in the cold?"

Rin bit her lip, forcing the tears back. "My lord- ever felt like...you don't belong where life forces you to be?"

The lord pursed his lips together. Suddenly, his eyes widened with understanding. He remembered the tune she mumbled. One name stood out- a tune he dismissed as a child's tune from the Western Lands...her mind and heart still lived elsewhere...

"_**Sesshoumaru-sama doko ni iru"**_

He started to hum the melody, as Rin's eyes widened.

"My Lord- no- what are you doing?" Rin implored. It was her secret, no one else's...

"_**Sesshoumaru-sama doko ni iru"**_

He stepped back, putting all the puzzle pieces together- this girl...was the consort...

Rin shivered in horror- he knew. He discovered the truth- that she was merely a girl of demons, and they would follow her in her dreams and her reality wherever she went...

"_**Sesshoumaru-sama, omodoriou!"**_

"Sesshoumaru-sama, please return!"

The hum of insects could be heard...rising loudly until all was inaudible. The Lord looked up. "Since when in winter..." Rin looked over into the distance, her lip trembling..."That sound again..."

"RIN!" shouted the lord. Bells rang throughout the village. "Attackers!" Rin's face snapped up to meet the Lord's as she came back to the current moment. Taking her hand, her Father-in-Law ran with her back into the main compound. They were quickly separated in the battle frenzy.

Swarms of the deadly insects drove into the town. All hope seemed lost as many of the courtiers were slain, and townspeople injured. Rin and the court ladies were gathered into the main hall. They were each given a small knife, parchment, a brush and ink.

"What is going on?" Rin frantically asked. Women were crying, holding onto each other, screaming from the notice of their husbands dying, tying himo ropes around their legs while in a squatting position. The door opened, and a infantry soldier fell to his knees. He looked into Rin's eyes with a mix of pain and stupor.

"The Prince has been slain."

All action froze. Eyes turned to Rin. She stuttered, in shock. She slowly got up, taking small steps to the soldier. A large wound was on his back, and he was quickly losing his blood. She braced her hand onto his shoulder, searching his eyes for confirmation that this was the truth. He gasped, and fell to the floor with a final exhalation, the last of his blood on her hand. She blinked back tears, remembering the kindhearted husband she barely even knew. Her shoulders shook as she wiped the blood onto her pale uchikake.

"_Is this my fate? To gain, only to lose?"_

Time screeched to a halt- women around her started wailing about the great loss, and shrieking as they wrote out their suicide poems.

"_Is it better to die early with dignity intact, or to fight with honor and risk losing everything?"_

Her fists balled up at her side, and her shoulder shook with anger as she sharply turned around.

"**GET AHOLD OF YOURSELVES!"**

The women all stopped what they were doing. Rin surveyed the room- four girls, nine mothers, twenty wives of courtiers. One girl had already thrust a dagger into her neck, her body convulsing on the floor. All eyes turned to her, watching the young woman's lifeblood drain onto floor, staining her last private memoir before her. Her eyes rolled back into her head as her body ceased to exist on the mortal plane.

"If you want to die, the die. But I am not going to die any earlier than I have to. I am going to go replace my husband's place in battle." With a flurry, she turned and ran out the door.

She felt the slowly increasing steps behind her as more and more women joined with her. Together, they ran out to the battle. They pulled out their fans. Clicking a small knob, small, sharp spikes were revealed.

"Ichiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

"**Yama no naka, Mori no naka, **

_**In the mountain, in the forest,**_

"_Niiiiiiiiiiii"_

**Kaze no naka, Yume no naka, **

_**In the wind, in a dream.**_

The women, together, sunk into their knees, drew a breath, and readied themselves.

**Watashi wa hitori de matchimashou!**

_**I will wait alone until you come! **_

"_Saiiiiiiiiii!!"_

Together, they ran into the battle to defend their village, and take the place of the men and memories they had lost.

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The aftermath of the battle was grim. Over two-thirds of men in the village were slain. Half the houses were destroyed. Rin's young husband had been brutally killed. His father held funeral services, but Rin was barred from attending. She was imprisoned in her room, weeping for the man is considered a kind friend, and kind enough for honor her for life.

However, she couldn't deny the fact that the village was indeed attacked due to her presence. The demons were obviously under Naraku's command, and were scouts. They could have slaughtered the whole village, yet the minute she made her battle appearance, they only put up a meager fight then fled. They weren't making the choice between fight or flight, they were trying to force _her_ to choose.

A loud knock came to her door on the first day of Spring. She was commanded to ready herself, dressing herself regally as in accordance for court. She was then escorted by two curt soldiers to the main hall.

It was the final day of mourning for her husband. She walked on weak feet, keeping her face as straight and proud as possible. She light a stick of incense at the altar prepared in honor of her late husband, and stayed deep in prayer until her knees were stiff and her back was sore. At that time, she got up and took slow and steady steps to the lord, bowing down. The room was silent enough to hear the chirping of birds, the buzzing of grasshoppers and dragonflies, and the trickling of ice melting into the springs. A change was coming.

"Gei no Rin. I have called you to these quarters today. You are well aware of the charges brought forth to you. Your association with the demons of the land have put this village under great harm and danger. My youngest son was slain in battle. To make things worse, I have been advised that your continued presence will increase the likelihood these demons will return. We have been patient until Spring, and have given you an opportunity to pay your respects, on this, the final day of mourning for my son. Now, we have no choice, but to purge your name from all records and to ask your compliance.

We ask that you leave this village at once. Head back to the lands you came from, and do not ever return."

Rin blinked back tears. She watched the lord's face- his stern visage betrayed the slightest hints of urgency and pity. _"He knows if I stayed, I would be killed. Not only is staying here dangerous to the village, but a danger to myself as well."_

Rin nodded. "I will honor your request, M'lord. I will pack and leave this very afternoon." With a wave if his hand, she got up and left the room. Once into the main corridor leading to her room, she ran.

"_I haven't a moment to lose. This village could be finished off at any minute if I stay now that Naraku knows my whereabouts. I only have one hope now that I have been dismissed._

_I will head farther East- and seek the crossroads of the Capital. I will be easily lost there."_


	17. Cycles

Cycle

Rin hoisted her package higher on her back, and bent down to straighten her geta sandals. Groaning at an annoying and lone pebble caught between her toes, she sighed with relief when she removed the offending object. Grinning to herself, she smoothed her hair back and continued on her way.

"_Sesshoumaru-sama, I will wait_

_But don't keep away 'till late_

_I live in the clouds in a castle by the lake_

_your maiden cries until you awake_

_Sesshoumaru-sama, I will wait_

_'till our paths cross as destined by fate_

_I walk the roads through fields of weeds_

_I'll call your name through every bent reed_

_Sesshoumaru-sama, I will wait_

_until shimigami my body does take_

_Even then in heavens surely I'll lay_

_Waiting to return to you one day_

_Sesshoumaru-sama, I will wait_

_to return to you one day."_

Rin eyed the large crossroads ahead with the bustling capitol. Continuing the song in a low hum, she kept her steady pace forward into the Capitol: Kyoto.

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"Na-ra-ku..."

"Yes Aikou-Akan?

"Have you killed her yet?"

"No. Soon."

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The entire gang spent six seasons trekking east-bound, finally arriving at the capitol. They agreed to spend one night just outside the city to prepare. The miko, Kagome gathered herbs and created a masking spell for Shippou, Inuyasha, and most importantly, Sesshoumaru.

"Man, this stuff stinks. It's so horrid on my sensitive nose. Blech!" complained Inuyasha. Shippou groaned.

"Come on, Inuyasha. You ability to smell has been greatly reduced. I don't know WHAT your problem is. You've got issues, Inuyasha, serious issues." berated Shippou.

"Hey, at least I didn't sleep with a CAT, Fox-demon!" Inuyasha snapped. Kilala gave off a warning growl, and Inuyasha just rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, I think I'm the only one is this little happy group NOT getting any-OW!!!"

"_SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

Sesshoumau just ignored his half-brother. Here it was, leaves were falling, and the whole earth was preparing soon for winter. If Naraku were to attack their group, it would be in two seasons, for his insects scouts were strongest just before summer.

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"Tomoe? Could you please give Rin there a hand?" called the head bar hostess. Rin perked up from her chore of ringing out a small mountain saikori rags to be used for the party night ahead. "Oh, no, I'm quite fine. Am I moving too slowly?"

The older, harsh woman scoffed. "You were day-dreaming again, Rin. Honestly, day-dreams do nothing to keep the mind sharp! Stay focused!"

Rin pursed her lips together, and responded with a pert, "Hai!".

It was a long ten hours that slowly crawled by, and the bar was readying itself to close. Rin shuddered, inwardly recounting the events of the night. Only four men grabbed her ass, but one had the nerve to lay a hand on her breasts. Purchasing a small jug of house sake, she clumsily made her way back up to her room to rest. Closing the rickety door, she tipsily plopped down on the futon, her long black hair shaggily curtained around her shoulders. Letting out a weary sigh, she opened her sake and took a gulp.

She had arrived here several months ago, and it was now the middle of winter. She lived and worked at a hostess bar, known for it's blatant prostitution and flowing sake. She was only a waitress, but often times customers would ignore this, and attempt to purchase her for the night. She desperately practiced her arts, and saved up so she could learn dance from the main school in town, hoping it to be the key to healthier employment soon. She no longer had her clothes from the time she was a lady, and the only remnants of her previous life with Sesshoumaru was the ever-present amulet strapped around her neck. However, as of a week before, it started to contain a faint, warm glow from it's center, causing her to lower the necklace further so it wouldn't be seen.

She bought her long, slender fingers to her necklace and slipped it out of its confines cautiously. She turned it about while staring at it as she often did while admiring it, her tired and red eyes examining every crevice despite her intoxication. Suddenly, the amulet whispered her name softly, "Rin".

Her eyes widened, and she dropped the amulet onto her lap with a gasp. "Oh Kami....I know that voice!" She stumbled backward towards the door in horror.

She had not heard his voice in seven years.

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Sesshoumaru leaned back, his long dark locks running down his back. Everyone in the group was now asleep, and his eyes glittered dark blue as he kept watch. The cold winter wind blew mercilessly outside, the chill permeating through to his temporarily human bones. Finally getting up, he cautiously made his way to the door, sliding a thick fur hide over his shoulders and bracing himself for the cold. Opening the door, the wind howled as he stepped out to be embraced by winter's torment.

Ice knives dug into his body....he sputtered and coughed, making his way to the sake house down the alley, only a three minute walk that felt as if it took hours. Gripping the door, he swung it open, and stumbled inside- as a human, there was little grace to be held. The wind blew out the nearest lights, leaving him almost night-blind, yet the warmth of the room welcomed him, the scent of noodles, sake, and takoyaki heavy in the air. His stomach churned and growled, his cheeks flushed as his skin adjusted to the new temperature. He was about to inquire when a stark, barking voice addressed him crudely.

"Yo, what you want? The whores are gone. We're closing. Stop standing there, pick something and go... I ain't got all fucking night."

He had to remind himself not to growl...his swords were of no use against the sake wench before him. His cool, dark blue orbs eyed the middled-aged, tall woman before him, dressed in mostly bright and cheery hues, a direct contrast to her far-from-bubbly personality. "Onna....woman...one canteen of sake, and one cup. Four orders of gyoza dumplings, takoyaki balls, whatever is left. And absolutely no whores required, I can eat well enough alone."

In the shadows to the far corner, a slender figure made her way down the stairs, clad in a dark brown kimono and woven shawl. She shivered, not from the cold....but what she had witnessed only a moment ago in the confines of her room. Seeing a customer, she slumped against the wall and slid down quietly while waiting her turn. After a moment, the woman started to eye him curiously. Feeling a pair of eyes watching him during the wait for his order, he turned around to face her. Her dark, slightly wavy hair rippled down her back and shoulders, a few tendrils on her face....the room just a little too dark for him to make out the features of her face with his human eyes. "What, onna?" he asked plainly, and the woman gasped, trembling in fear. The old sake waitress stepped out with a small candle, illuminating the small area in which they set in a feeble, weak light.

The woman got up on trembling legs, covered her face, and quickly ran away without a word to him. Sesshoumaru scowled, reaching into his money pouch silently and dropping sufficient coinage onto the counter, his eyes on the bizarre woman. She turned the corner to the stairs, and then he saw it-the amulet.

His eyes widened, and he shook his head. His ears told him the sake wench was calling his attention, but he numbly took the food, the sake, and left without another word.

"Rin?"

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"AAAAAARGH!" She screamed, throwing her sake canteen to the wall, her face streaked with tears. "Rin....you are LOSING YOUR MIND!"

She collapsed down onto her futon, her head in her hands as she weeped bitter tears. "I'm going insane....aren't I? Rin.....that is not Sesshoumaru.....he left you behind....he is not coming back...stop looking for resemblances in each man you see...." But his face had the same jawline, the same bone structure....long silken locks, but instead of pristine silver, they were as dark as coal...She shook her head, and lay down onto the stiff bedding, tears wetting the sheets as she cried herself into a drunken sleep.

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Ume plum blossoms brached out onto the trees in their glory as the last flower of winter, withered, then died. In their place, sakura blossoms reigned, heralding the middle of spring coming to a close. Insects buzzed in the air, the warm wind carrying the heady scent of flowers. Sesshoumaru came to order lunch everyday at the same seedy sake house, keeping his eye out for the woman, trying to to convince himself that he wasn't losing his mind, but he never saw her. Day after day he would silently sit in the corner, drinking his sake and munching on his gyoza dumplings, hoping for a glimpse. Finally, one day he was interrupted from his thoughts by a slam of a full sake canteen on the table.

"Yo....you're that bastard, aren't you? Scared my new girl off?"

He looked up to see the sake wench looming over him angrily. He shrugged, "Are you certain she wasn't scared off by the likes of you, onna?"

She snarled, "Look mister, I'm doing you a favor. Two, actually. First off, she's not a whore anyways. Secondly, she works in a house on the other end of town. Good for her, actually. She always wanted to dance, but couldn't here because men got one thing on their minds."

His eyes widened at this information, suddenly piecing everything together. "Which house is this!" He shot up straight on his feet, staring her down. The entire place dropped their chopsticks and cups, all clattering into the tables at the commanding tone of his baritone voice.

The wench chuckled, "I don't know, mister. You could ask around for her, though. Her name is Rin."

His ears went deaf, and he forced himself to control his emotions. Damned bitch probably knew why he'd been coming all along....and waited until now so he would eat there and provide cash flow for the information. He slammed his fist into the wall, snapping the wood aside and cutting his knuckles. Kicking his right leg through a table, the wood smashed against the floor, and the food flew off the table hitting the walls. The occupants all clenched their tables in shock, the head wench frozen in terror. He caught his breath...looking around he realized what he had done. Dropping gold on the floor, he turned around and left.

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Rin stomped her foot onto the ground, the turned with her fan in hand. The singer's tones rang out a bright melody of a summer approaching, and a handsome fool ignoring a chance at summer's love in order to pay attention to his other love; sake. Summer pounded and banged her fists at his heart, wept, and soon was carried away as the next season forced her to abandon the fool. In her death, she proclaimed that year after year, she would return to him again, hoping he had run out of sake.

The tale of the dance sad, it remained whimsical by it's sound and the many references to sake. Plus, the stomping bit was fun, too. Happy to finally have a chance to dance again, Rin soaked up all the knowledge the lessons she took currently had to offer, glad to finally have formal training under a master. While her current job was a mere step up from a sake bar hostess, she did truly enjoy it. Thanking the master of the school at the end of her lesson, she bowed, slid the shoji screen open to leave.

"Wait, Rin."

She froze, and turned around to face her master once more. "Yes Sensei-teacher?"

"Rin, you are doing well. Soon we will select a performance name for you. Tonight, please report to the Chidori teahouse for work. That is your instructions from your house."

Rin nodded. "Alright. I will do my best."

"Gambatte."

She smiled, walking down the street alongside the Pontocho river humming a tune..then smiled, remembering how she sang it as she strode into this town. Suddenly, she yelped as she stepped on a loose pebble wedged into her zori shoe. Peering down, she yanks the pebble out, and continues along her way.

"Odd..." she wondered....how things had a habit.....of coming back full circle.

The sinister eyes watched their prey as she slid her shoe back on, she turned around a corner, and out of sight. They turned around, and walked quickly in the darkness that the alley provided....

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The party was going on without a hitch, the men already halfway to drunk, the hostesses mingling and keeping the conversation and sake flowing. Finally, the group ordered for some dancing and stories.

"Ah, we have the new girl...let's bring her in!"

The man in the dark monk's clothing beamed, "Ohhhhh yes! That's what I'm talking about! -More Sake!" He was quickly jabbed in the ribs by a seemingly younger man.

"Shut up, hentai pervert you! -Sorry, he's not very good at holding his liquor....thank Kami Shippou isn't here or none of your cats would be safe...OW!!!" The dark bopped him on the head and grinned.

"All I'm saying is, if Naruku's latest sign isn't a trap, or finaly battle could be any day. The ladies are enjoying the springs- we can't we enjoy what this city has to offer? The ladies are so-OWWWW!!!"

The third man had had enough. Bashing the two loudmouth's heads together, they were stunned for all of one moment before squabbling loudly again. He sighed, slumping down and downing the contents of the cup before looking up to watch the dancer begin. He tilted his head curiously as she opened the shoji door politely while her face was down, shifting her weight along the tatami mats and closing it with her back turned. Her ro open weave kimono was bright lavender, reflecting summer's wisteria, one sleeve down to expose the red and white kimono underneath, her bright green obi low on her hips. She turned around once more, bowing on the floor before starting her dance. He tensed in frustration, craning his neck trying to see her face, finding it impossible.

She danced the same dance she had practiced before, imitating Summer trying to enchant the fool into enjoying her many pleasures...warmth....beauty.....charm...the fan languidly fluttering to show the slow breeze of the summer. Leaning back slightly, one slender, ivory-skinned hand shielding from the sun, the other fanning her flushed face, her head tilted to let her long, almost bone-straight hair hang down her back, stopping just above the knees, yet adorned with brass and silver flutters and hair ornaments.

A child of the sun, Summer danced merrily trying to get her love's attention, the fan slowly fluttering away from her face, revealing her visage to the party in the room. Eyebrows sat high and groomed, wide, exquisite eyes with a sparkling light brown orbs that outshone the brightest star, flushed cheeks, rouged lips...she resembled the most perfect doll in motion...

He dropped his chopsticks, and his then jaw. His eyes widened with shock at the display of womanly perfection before him, and he put the puzzle together- after so many, many years, they met again...

_....this.....was.....his Rin......_

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I wanted to thank those who have been reading. To be honest, I didn't really show any of my friends this. The whole reason why I started this story was sort of an outlet for the many feelings I went though after I was attacked. Denial, anger, pain grief, rehabilitation. So, it seems weird to come back to this. It was a very painful time for me and I lost so many friends of mine.

The good news is, I didn't want this to rule my life. I sought treatment, seeing a therapist, persecuated the bastard to the fullest extent I could, and spoke out to make sure this sicko would never touch anyone again. I've moved on in many aspects of my life, relationship-wise, career-wise, and I believe I've grown a lot since then as well. I also made some friends as well online that are in an Inuyasha-based RP. They've been pretty nice to me allowing me to pretty much make up my own character since they pretty much had dibs on every character except Kanna.....and she's creepy.

So, this is in part dedicated to them. I don't think they'll actually read this or nothing. But nonetheless, they indirectly inspired me to finish this fic. So, R and M, this is your fault. . .

So again, thank you for continuing to read. Rin's grown much stronger in the past chapters, having to uproot her life several times, sometimes really struggling to get by. I told myself that if I wrote this, I wanted Rin's character development to heavily outweigh Sesshoumaru's- knocking him from his oh-so-comfy pedestal. Now the question is- how will Sesshoumaru take the fact that all along, he's had his true mate in front of him? And will he seize the chance, or be a dork and ignore it? I mean, this IS Sesshoumaru we're talking about here....


End file.
